It's a Tricky Business These Days...

Pants.  I'm gonna talk about my pants now.  (Remember that Five Iron Frenzy song, early 2000s listeners of Christian ska?)

So, lots of bloggers have lamented the decline of women's pants and make leggings the object of scorn and derision for Ladies Who Carpool and/or Exercise Over the Age of 18.

There's this:

And this:




Well, there were A LOT of leggings this Sunday at my place of worship... so much so that I wanted to text another "Are They Pants?" Enthusiast to discuss.  I have no pants-stones to throw as I own two pairs of  jeggings (though actual denim) and one pair of leggings that I wear in public.

My own legging/jegging philosophy is that they are best to wear with a dress or mini-dress or a looong tunic that does the high-low number with a few good inches draping below your private business.

Which brings me to my newest clothing finds:

 d.jeans Sexy High Waist Jean

I got these today at TJMaxx for $17 and they are both skinny and high waisted in the best sense.  These are the jeans for any woman who does not have a 26.2 sticker on her vehicle but still wants to wear her tall boots without forsaking brownies or modesty.  I'm very excited.  They are super comfortable.

Also, I found some NYDJ (Not Your Daughter's Jeans) in a skinny cut.  The ankle is not quite skinny enough for a tall boot, but they fit very nicely if you like a natural waist style. I believe they go up to size 16.   They retail for a bit more (around the $100 mark) so I decided to go ahead and get them for $40 at TJMaxx.  I wear jeans almost everyday, and even though it makes me worry that my fashion sense has not evolved enough, it's what I like to wear most days.  I have another pair in this brand in a soft trouser pant style and I've heard good things about their jeans, so I think I'll be pleased.

 

NYDJ Samantha Skinny (Mine are last season so these are the closest to what I got)

I hope these finds bless you on your quest for pants-that-are-pants-you-can-wear-with-cute-shoes-and-breezy-blouses.  Praise the Lord and pass the Lycra reinforcement.

To Me, 3 Years Ago

This post is inspired by The Mighty, that asked:

"For all of January, The Mighty is asking its readers this question: If you could go back to the day you (or a loved one) got a diagnosis, what would you tell yourself?"

I've touched on this idea a bit here in my grand coming out blog party.  I'm a year and a half further along from that post, and here's what I'd say a few more steps down the road.

If I could go back to December 17, 2011, I would want to make myself sit down with someone, a professional or trusted figure, and just let out the complex feelings I tried to put a resolute demeanor over.  We were not surprised to receive an autism diagnosis for our 3 1/2 year old son: we were relieved to have an answer.  It was a new starting point.  What I dreaded most was to see my son diminished in the eyes of others.  I would not stand for that.  A day later we went to a family Christmas gathering where I tearfully declared, "Our dreams and wishes for our son are unchanged." In the essentials of life: love and faith and family, nothing had changed.  Jeremiah had not changed.

We were the ones who would, by almost imperceptible degrees, change. 

We would change our terminology.  From the "welcome-to-the-club" first-person terminology of an individual with autism to the term many self-advocates on the spectrum have taken back: autistic. An educator recently reminded a group of parents at a seminar I attended that the proper term was individual with autism as if we were unfamiliar with the nuances of terminology and the debates thereof.  Bless her.  Self, you'll learn to let these things roll off your back. 

We would change our stance.  When you typically begin to walk down an unfamiliar road of diagnosis, you join a new subculture.  To broadly define the two options of the ASD spectrum, you have 1) Change and Cure and 2) Accept and Support.  Of course these are simplistic categories, but we started unabashedly in the first category.  We began therapies (a good thing) and schooling (another) and paperwork and lastly, an approach to autism intervention.  I regret none of these.  We learned more about our son's unique style of learning and worked through our own prejudices and barriers to parenting a child who approached the world in a way in which we were unfamiliar.  Then, after a few years, we stopped and re-evaluated.  This is the most important step, I believe, to helping your child.  We gave ourselves permission to keep the good and abandon what was not working for our family.  No philosophy or therapeutic approach is more important than the health of the entire family.  We were tired.  We had reached an end of one approach and it was okay.

It's good to go your own way.  This is truly one of the best lessons I've learned from being a parent of a child with a disability.  Doctors and professionals are valuable resources, and it is wise to examine the course of options they present.  But you know your child and yourself best.  Trust your instincts and judgement.  You are the parent.  You do know best.  You are the most vested.  Examine everything, make a choice, and walk boldly in it.  Fear is a terrible motivator.

We would laugh with our son.  With his sly methods of getting his way.  His way of showing excitement-- to rehearse over and over the next time he would see someone or someplace he loved. We would hoot and holler as he took ownership of toileting, a very big deal for any child. I would hear my first "I love you" from my son, as he approached my door after bedtime, knowing this would most definitely get him time in my room.  And his new found interest in drawing, not to mention riding his first big bike and loving it.  Being undaunted by the falls.  Slow and steady wins the race.

We continue to learn that the best place for our son to be is the place where he will thrive.  Right now, that is in a special education classroom.  He has excellent teachers who understand his needs.  He is not lost.  He would be lost in regular classroom, though I dream one day this will be possible.  My son has teachers that see him and value him.  That's more than enough.

We have a son that makes us laugh, cry, roll our eyes, and cheer.  Sometimes I lose my patience and remind him to "cool it, buddy" when he's asked to see Papa for the 10th time that minute.  I can discipline in haste.

But I love and appreciate my world and the wonder of life more that I ever would have before.

Sweetheart, it's gonna be more than alright.

Love,

Me

Burnin' Down The House: Downton Abbey, Season 5, Ep. 1 Recap

Photo source PBS

A blog first: a request for content!  My friend asked if I would be blogging Downton this season, so I jolly well shall if my public (of one) asks.

If you enjoy a extra heaping of snark sauce, I usually read this recap  after each Downton.  My thoughts...

You know Downton has used up its good graces with outrageous plot twists when a fire seems "meh" to you.

Servant (Jimmy) and the aristocrat in flagrante delicto? Done.

Thomas being Thomas? Yup.  Part bully, part pimp, all parts obsequious. And always with enough derring do (pulling Edith out of her burning bedroom) to save his job.

Mary playing the Ice Queen?  Yadda yadda yadda.  And hey, Tony Gillingham.  I see what you're doing there.  Mary, maybe Lady Grantham never thought she needed to have this talk with you, but cows and milk, darling.  Your rendezvous with not remain secret.  Paging Mr. Pamuk. Remember?  Dead men tell no tales, but spinster sisters do.  Does anyone else hope Charles Blake returns?  Mary needs a bit of  a struggle to know her own mind.  Plus he is hott with two ts.

Poor Edith being poor Edith, as ever.  And not the first "fallen" woman on the show who must conspire to stay in her child's life. WHERE DID GRIEGSON GO?  Is he dead?  Give us some closure so we can make like Elsa and let. it.go. already.

Baxter is suspicious of Bates, as is Gillingham, as are we.  Have we cleared up why his limp seems to be gone?  Do you think he is essentially a good character?  Could he really have killed his wife after all? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tom is still in aristocratic limbo, not sure of his place in society, especially in terms of courtship.  I don't really feel swayed by his new possible love interest.  She's not as obnoxious or obvious as Edna from last season, but I'm not sure if I like her yet.

Rose is now the dutiful stand in for the youngest Crawley daughter, and I'd rather see her as the rebel.  Who knows what kind of sheneginas she'll get into this season.

Isobel has two potential suitors this season, which is okay by Violet as long as she stays in the middle class where she belongs.  I really enjoy the Violet character and how everything she does is for the good of the family.  I can't really believe she'd prevent a romance for Violet even if it would upset their unbalanced social dynamic.

I miss this Mrs. Hughes/Mr. Carson tenderness and hope that is continued in later episodes. They are my favorite couple in the house.  I doubt in that time anything would ever happen romantically as it would disrupt their posititions of authority, but I think it is the most genuine friendship of affection and respect.

Love that goes the distance is Hughes & Carson, as fun as it is to see Mary & Gillingham flirt with mischief.

True love waits, people.  At least for this retreat-going, cheesy-books-with-cheesier-chapter-titles-reading (Boaz, not Bozo) and married-to-my-own-hybrid-of-cute-and-steady-man kind of woman.

That's my humble recap.  It may be a well worn road, but I love to travel it.  Hurrah for the retun of Downton Abbey!

Some Good Things for the New Year

I've been enjoying the downtime of Christmas vacation and with all the gift researching, giving, and receiving, I've found some new items of interest that I'd be remiss not to share with my little (little) corner of the Internet.


Books: 

I requested all of the following from Santa Ed (Dad) and have eagerly skim read them this week.

Freefall to Fly  by Rebekah Lyons
This is a memoir written by a woman who moved from Atlanta to New York City with her husband to pursue dreams in ministry.  She has a special needs son and during her transition from safe suburbia to chaotic urban life, she began experience extreme anxiety attacks.  I heard her speak at women's conference (dotMom) this fall and was hooked upon hearing her point of view.  I can very much relate to her story.  Much of what I've read deals with opening up the "box" of dreams we've packed away and labelled in a box named "Responsibility" or "Motherhood" specifically for women.  She talks of birthright gifts we are born with that we spend half our life denying and the other half, if we are lucky, reclaiming.  I'm eager to set aside time to read this properly.  I saw on twitter that Lifeway All Access Women is doing an online bible study that accompanies this book if you're looking for something in that vein.

The Best Yes  by Lysa Terkurst  I've read this author's book Unglued and I appreciate how she breaks down a concept to make it "liveable" in the day to day.  This is a book on decision making.  Looks promising.

The Nesting Place: It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect To Be Beautiful  by Myquillin Smith
I am brimming with ideas after skimming this gorgeous book.  We conveniently replaced our torn and tattered "leatherish" couches and I've stripped the family room walls to reevaluate.  I'm the first one to say "oh, I'm not creative" when it comes to interior design.  I can appreciate a pretty room (say Joanna Gaines' work from HGTV) but I'd love to have the work done for me.  That ain't gonna happen in the foreseeable future, but as this book suggests, the beauty is in the mistakes.  Who cares if the wall gets painted an off color?  Paint isn't that expensive.  It's more risky to do nothing than to take the small risk.  I'm so excited to re imagine the possibilities of our home.  When we moved in, we had LOTS of wall space to fill.  So I slapped up some large couch-sized "art" and called 'er a day.  But now that I have walking & talking little people that can entertain themselves safely for small increments without bodily harm (though not without lots of loud shrieking from the females), I have a little mental space to think about such luxuries as aesthetics.  Truth is, I *am* creative.  One, I'm a woman and I want my home to be pretty. Two, I believe in a Creative God that made an awe-inspiring world and gave me a desire to reflect His beauty. Three, I'm kinda good with words and imagery and tying ideas together.  So maybe I could learn how to do that with tangible objects.  I've pulled out a large dresser mirror that's been sitting in a closet, poured over all my beautiful photo treasures of my favorite faces and thought about meaningful items that could be given new life.  I had hand imprints made of my older two a few Mother's Day that sit in a glass cabinet.  Wouldn't it be prettier to see them hanging by a black and white picture of the owners of the hand prints at the age the prints were made?  I say yes.  If a book can make me want to tackle re imagining my rooms, it'll work for you.


Podcast:
The Phil Vischer Podcast
So, Phil Vischer of Veggie Tales and What's in the Bible is kinda my new Christian hero.
He's incredibly smart, creative, funny, relatable, and authentic. I'm fascinated by his story.  He has a culture podcast that I've just subscribed to (or "to which I just subscribed" because hey, I went to graduate school for English Education, and there's my $15,000 takeaway. Kidding.)

Fashion  (Seriously. "Fashion".)
Y'all. Again with the aesthetics.  I suffer from "False Humility-itis" that I think some other women battle.  It's not vain or frivolous to make an effort in your appearance or (gasp) feel good about the way you look.  So when Santa Ed requested a "list" from me besides books, I went to the only fashion outlet I really follow (BigMama's Fashion Friday) and clicked on the first cute top I found. It took me to ModCloth, a women's fashion site that has a vintage vibe.  It's a bit of a treat to order from (I like to stay in the $19.99 range if I'm shopping for myself, so hello, TJMaxx!) but it was a treat to let Santa order me a few gorgeous peasant blouses and tunics in wine, royal blue, and a jewel tone green.

Lastly, in Goals/Vision/The BEST YOU NOW! I am embarking on a year of Scripture memory.  I was successful in 2011 and petered out in 2013 (but can you fail at attempting anything in God's Word?) but I can think of nothing simpler or more profitable than to pick a Scripture twice a month that is applicable to my present situation on which to actively mediate.  Plus, my Sis is moving to Houston next year, so I'll have a built in reason to motivate me to attend the celebration for completing the exercise.  Interested?  Check out the Living Proof blog. You can jump in anytime, but it kicks off January 1.  All you need are some note cards and a willing attitude!

All that's left to say is Happy New Year!  If you are reading this, you are dear to me and I wish you a wonderful, adventurous, phenomenal 2015.

Sounds of the Season

I am obsessed with the following songs this year:

First, "Yahweh, Jesus is Coming".  This is a worship song that I've heard performed both at Easter and Christmas and it prompts a visceral reaction.  It's not one of the single-streaming-tear songs. It's a my-insides-are-trembling-because-this-all-happened-and-I-am-part-of-it.  This gal had to work to keep my composure at the Christmas performance this year because I'm not sure if I would have stood on my chair and waved my arms like an air traffic controller or just laid myself out in the aisle.  All I can say is listen.  It has a tribal, chanting cadence. It's beautiful.



ITunes is selling all holiday albums for $7.99 so I picked this one after all the "Mary, Did You Know" rave reviews I saw.  Pentatonix is an acapella group and their sound is totally original. I am slightly obsessed with this song.  I'm not sure how snow and UFO make for great Christmas lyrics, but they do.




Lastly, I bought Josh Groban's Noel last year and every song is beautifully arranged.  This one, though, with the overlayed voices of soldiers sharing their Christmas wishes to family, wrecks me.  Each time when it gets to the mom missing her 4-year-old's face on Christmas morning, I. just. can't.
Highly recommend.



I also love Michael Buble's Christmas and anything by Amy Grant or Harry Connick Jr. for Christmas music.

And now, a shameless plug...the one, the only, the Sonshine Singers.


Happy Listening! (And please share your newest favorites!)