What The Jesus In My Mind Would Say in A "Hey Girl" Meme

To be clear, I enjoy satire, but I have no appreciation for irony when depicting religious figures, most of all the Creator of the Universe, thank you very much.  I always felt squeamish when SNL did Jesus bits and quickly turned the channel.  I know that's supposed to be the mark of a free society and free speech, but uh-uh, nope, I'm good.

Now that we've got that all squared away...

We try to do a little devotional most nights (less than 3 minutes!) and one of the things I like most is the weekly bible verse.  Some weeks the verse lends itself to motions. I wish I knew ASL, but alas, I only know Jesus, Lord, please, thank you and more.  Meaning I've been to my fair share of evangelical youth camps and attempted to have a toddler request more Cheerios.  I also "teach" kids' choir, so I really also know sing, love, and all the motions to Go Tell It On The Mountain.

All that to say we were practicing the verse James 1:22 that exhorts "Don't just listen to God's Word; you must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves."  I'm not sure the version this is taken from, but it is also more commonly rendered "Be doers of the Word and not hearers only."

As the girls were doing the motions to aid in their memorization, I thought to myself, "Well, shoot, James.  You kinda nailed it there." I mean, that's a "drops mic" moment.  Leave it to one verse in the Bible to knock you over the head.  I believe that's why the theologians like to call it the inspired Word of God.

Somehow, I imagined how Jesus might apply that verse to me, not to fool myself with thinking listening to His words was somehow enough:

I wasn't convicted of any one thing (because let's face it, there's always so much in view of a holy God), but the book of James is pretty clear.  You'd better work out your faith.  It's the proof in the pudding. (End Sermon.)

And I thought I'd share that little nugget with you, along with my two Scripture memory/gong show stars.  Watch to the end to hear the verse :)

Let's Go Bring Back Summer!

Every honest mom's two thoughts on Memorial Day Weekend:

1. Yay!  It's summer! 

2. (Crushing terror) It's summer!

We are two weeks into summer break here and I've definitely felt the polar ends of summer elation and terror.  We started off with a bang, a no-TV day.  All day.  For some, this is a no-brainer, but for us, it was a bit unprecedented.  8-10 a.m. is usually Care Bear/Little Pony/Chipmunk time as I get the kids feed and then the kitchen cleaned up. I can't remember the specifics of why I hid all the remotes (though bad attitudes and generally brain-dead children must have been a factor), I was surprised at how easy the day went and the improvement in attitude of my older daughter.  I've never kept to a strict "screen time" schedule, but I have weaned a certain 5-year-old girl off having "mommy's phone" in her room just so that Mommy can have 45 minutes of sanity.  In a move of sheer genius, I pulled the dusty CD player into her room to play books on CD.  GENIUS MOVE.  I highly recommend it.  Sarah is not reading yet, but she can follow along with the "ding" of the CD... major nostalgia, too, for us kids of the 80s and 90s.  I remember reading a Rumpelstiltskin reader on cassette.  And you can check out kids' books on CD at the library.  A little less TV equals a bit more ingenuity for everyone.

We've been taking swim lessons as I've mentioned previously, and it has been such a treat to see the girls become competent in the water.  They both push themselves each time we swim recreationally, and both have requested to venture into the deep end with Mom.  That pushes me out of my comfort zone as well, but it's a new feeling to see your children become self-sufficient in an area beyond going to the bathroom.  Like they can do things.  I feel like we are coming into our own as a family, and that's just the best.  Jeremiah has also begun to take lessons and his teacher and his response to her as been nothing short of beautiful.  I was understandably concerned that he would not take to the tough love approach of swim lessons, but his teacher has far exceeded my expectations for him with constant praise and several tricks-up-her-sleeve to increase his comfort and trust with her.  We've got him placing his chin in the water and wading out past where he can touch by "Spiderman-ing" on the wall with his hands.  It's awesome.  The pace may be slow, but from a total refusal to get in the water last year to wanting to do what his sisters are doing-- ACES.

For J's birthday last week, we had a family pool party and it was maybe his best yet.  We had a picnic poolside and the grandparents got in and swam.  There was plenty of shade for the non-swimmers, and everyone was happy.  There aren't many times you can say that in a group, and it was special.
Also, see this boy's face?  It's everything to me.

Happy boy.  Priceless.

My wee baby can swim!

Gaining confidence

He wanted glasses. Love this.

The youngest gets all the love.

As for the crushing terror, I will freely admit that after the first 3 solo days of summer, with appointments to keep and every ding-dang minute filled with incessant little girl chatter, I had a bit of a moment and snarkily asked my husband to bring home some "special medicine" to cure my erm, "itchiness."  This is one of my favorite Raymond episodes, where Debra is experiencing moodiness on her "ladies' days" as Ray calls them and being helpful, he buys here PMS medicine to soothe the beast.  She quite rightly remarks, "There's nothing in here for bitchy."  And well, sometimes, there's just no quick fix for that.





This week has been filled with appointments, too, and I'm looking forward to some real downtime.  It's our busiest summer to date, with typical stuff like VBS, and new stuff like a vacation to a little hamlet called Disney World and a week of day camp for kids on the spectrum.  The camp has hiking, swimming, and rafting, and it's so cool that J will be able to participate.  More on that to come.

On the Disney front, let's just say I spent an hour debating which magic band accessory would best compliment each child's band and then deciding it was a total waste of money and those suckers would be pulled off or chewed in 10 minutes.  Good times.  A women's mind is a labyrinth, y'all.  Be nice to us.

Man Men Finale Tonight: Because Moral Ambiguity is Both Compelling and Exhausting

So my mentors in all things pop culture (and maybe all things) talk about THE MAD MEN frequently and so I've given it another go.  I watched the first season back when it began in 2007 when I was still somewhat of a newlywed and had a bit of idealism about life and love.  It was intriguing, but I ultimately nixed my viewing after the first season because the themes are dark.  It's not really a show that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside very often, and there are no clear happy endings.  And that doesn't really jive with my typical outlook and worldview.  Plus I taught 8th graders and needed some pure escapist television in my free time.  Because reading 80 essays can require not a little measure of fortitude.

But.

I've started with this half of the seventh and last season of the show.  It is visually stunning for one thing, and I have to give the main character's wife, Betty, some serious props for being an early 1960s housewife.  Though she is beautiful and privileged, her husband keeps his real identity and the inner workings of his heart and mind from her.  He has an idolized view of her, his angel on the pedestal, and won't allow her to be a true partner to him.  She can act childishly, but I have to sympathize with her now as a woman a few more years into my own marriage with children to raise.  I mean, the woman waits the whole day to see her husband come home for dinner-- maybe-- and treats it as an event.  Children are already fed, bathed, and ready for bed when King Daddy comes home to tuck them in.  She has dressed for dinner, complete with freshly rolled and set hair, with a full skirted frock, accessorized (of course) with pearls and red lacquered nails.  You pity her, you feel for her, and you roll your eyes at her poor choices.

And then there's the main character Don.  I'm mean: Don Draper.  He's an enigma wrapped in a mystery. War hero, ad man, Hollywood leading man looks, with intelligence, warmth and kindness to the weak.  Balanced by his alcoholism, fractured psyche (to say the least, though he disdains psychology) and general neglect to the true needs of his family; he's a mess.  He's juggling a wife, a mistress, and a new love interest when the story opens in Episode 1.  Clearly he's got some things to work through.  I'm utterly fascinated as I've blazed through seasons 1&2 in the last 2 weeks, but I'm often telling the screen: Don! Stop being so weird!  Go home and eat a sandwich or something!

The finale is at 10 tonight on AMC.  Who is watching? Thoughts?  How to wrap up such a complex show and character?  I doubt there will be a neat ending as that's not how show has been set-up, but I do hope Don makes some choice to step over the line from selfish individualism and make a permanent stake in his children's lives, who unbeknowst to them, are about to lose their mother Betty to cancer.

Though I doubt it.  This is a show that underlines the fact that people don't really change from their essential nature. Here's hoping.

en.wikipedia.org

Summer Tunics and When to Tuck In Your Shirt: A Primer

Okay, y'all.  I have a shirt for you.  THE SUMMER TUNIC.  It is a gift.  I received two long tunic cotton shirts in white and chambray for Mother's Day from J. Crew (because fancy) and they are terrific.  I couldn't find the exact match, but this is close:

White Endless Shirt (I know the picture is tee-tiny, but I could only get a thumbnail)



Old Navy Linen Tunic
(If I was buying this with my own money, this is the route I'd go-- only $24!)


If I may extol the virtues of this tunic:

1. You can wear it with the sleeves down or rolled up the three-quarter as they are something called "pique" sleeves, with that little piece of fabric sewn on the inside to secure the rolled-up cuff.

2.  You can wear this with some capris or capri leggings even.

3.  No mid-section/ bottom half drama.  This is the winner here.  If you don't have those problems, you could tuck in or even do the side knot.  Perhaps your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

4. It breathes!  I worn the chambray shirt yesterday with white capris and didn't need a full-length camisole, so even though it is a longer shirt, I was very comfortable in the 84 degree weather.

5. This would seamlessly transition to Fall with jeans.

I mentioned in the blog title that sometimes you need to tuck in your shirt.  This is not something I have done in good conscience since entering motherhood. However, if you like to wear jersey skirts and not necessarily discuss your long-range family planning, here's my trial-and-error tutorial.

1. Spanx.

2. Tuck in shirt.

3.  Lightweight shrug if needed to peel on and off when in public (on) and private (off).

4. Stand up straight, do the "arm pop and shift weight" trick, and bam!  You have a waist again.

Here's photographic evidence of how I wore the same outfit after my trial-and-error lesson.

Now, go friends, and do likewise.

Lots of Napping and Gratis Dinners: Graduation & Mother's Day Weekend

I got to sleep in a black-out curtained hotel room for two nights.  All alone.  If I woke up early, I either consulted the clock and promptly turned over, or caught a delightful early 2000s RomCom on TBS.  I got up and showered, put on makeup (like, really put it on, in front of a well lit mirror, not in my car, while barking that everyone stay inside the vehicle until I had on lipstick and didn't scare anyone), got dressed, and curled my hair.  And sauntered down to eat a prepared breakfast.

It was glorious.  I abandoned any far flung ideas like "swimming in the pool," or "writing" or "reading a book," in lieu of napping. Oh, the napping.  It was strenuous, but I powered through.  With those heavy duvets, the air cranked down, and the aforementioned curtains?  There is no relaxation method that can touch it.

Basically, I had a fabulous weekend.  I flew out to Lexington Friday morning to see my sister Natalie's husband graduate with his PhD in Marketing from the University of Kentucky.  We sat patiently for 2 1/2 hours to see James hooded and his name on the big screen.  Natalie is, deservedly, incredibly proud of all he has accomplished, and they will be starting their new life around Houston, Texas in August as James takes his first position as a professor at University of  Houston-Clearwater. Natalie was my chauffeur for the weekend, so my responsibility level was at an all time low.  We ate out at several restaurants, and as both fathers were present to celebrate (and pick up the tab), I was basically a kid again.

I got to spend the weekend with my sister and parents and see my own family greet me when I touched down on Sunday.  It was great.  Nat and I had lots of girl time, talking about everything and nothing, even seeing a totally mindless chick-flick: Hot Pursuit-- completely formulaic, but with lots of silliness as we don't ask for much in Reese Witherspoon vehicles.  Basically, the plot was a Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous reboot.  I smell Oscar.

Alex, however, had both girls get sick in the car and his mom check in briefly to the hospital with stomach pains.  The kids came home with new toys from the Five Below store (apparently a thing in "big cities" that have stores like Costco, not that I'm bitter) and lots of candy.  The plan was to visit the grandparents for Mother's Day, but poor Alex was definitely Mr. Mom this weekend, cleaning car vomit TWICE (ugh), fetching take-out for the family, and generally rising to the challenge.

I've kinda gotten over the "let's see if he gets this right or not on Mother's Day" thing, and so I really didn't come into the day with a whole lot of expectations, especially since most of the day would be travel time, but he really did a nice job.  He had the kids make little notes and got me a beautiful watch.  He's a keeper.  I even got to eat breakfast on Mother's Day with my own Mom and Dad with Nat and James  and the ambience of Waffle House to set the mood.  No joke: I love Waffle House.

I'm back in the pjs at the start of another Monday: dishes to wash, floors to clean, kids to shuttle, appointments to keep.  And that's more than okay.

Insert picture of my family here -->

My mom got a pic of us together on her phone, so I'll update when she shares it :)

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day celebrating the special ladies in your life!  Women who nurture (basically women in general), you are special every day, not just the ones the designated on the calendar.