2016: Insurance Claims, Winter Doldrums, and All the Social Media Outlets

Hi readers.  And by readers I mean-- Hi Mom, Dad, Natalie, Jenny, Missy, and various college and mom friends. :)

It's a new year.

Christmas was a swirling dervish of presents and travel and I'm almost recovered.  I didn't rush to put up decorations before the 1st as is my usual practice and I'm proud to report they got back in the attic on January 21st.  #crushingit

January highlights:

Sarah turned six, and had three separate occasions to mark the day of her birth-- school cupcakes, a pancake breakfast celebration on the actual day followed by a dinner date with Dad, and a Barbie (TM) Rock N Royals Birthday party that I invited all 20 students in the class to and then promptly stressed til the moment of the party that more than 2 kids would attend.  I realize that an unaccepted invitation to at 6-year-old's party is not a rejection of me as a person.  I realize that.  I do.  I really do.  (Inner monologue: If only I was better at making friends then more kids would come to my kid's birthday party, UGH, being a introvert is so hard.)  Lesson learned:  Invite any and all children in your social circle to your kid's birthday party.  10 percent will come.  It'll be ALL GOOD.  I'll pick up this existential birthday angst up again next January for my social butterfly daughter.  The party was an unqualified success-- we did a craft, temporary tattoos, clip-in colored hair and colored hairspray, Barbie play, cake and presents, karaoke and trampoline play.  

Pinterest?  Can't touch this.


I'm writing this on hold with our insurance company as we changed over January 1 and our three providers are not showing us as insured but BCBS is. 

So.... Situation Normal there.

Can I make a confession?

I didn't even watch Downton this Sunday night.

I know.

My people are counting on me.

But it's gotten so.... boring/lame/stale/predictable.  

Season recap:  Carson is the epitome of all that is good and noble and true in the male species.  This speech on wanting a true marriage was pitch perfect.  Backstory:  his fiancée Mrs. Hughes (who has never been married, but as housekeeper is called Mrs. to disguish her position from lower ranking staff)  is sheepish about the (erm) marital act as a late middle-aged woman and fears disappointing Mr. Carson.  She asks her closest friend in the house, Mrs. Patmore, to act as go-between with Mr. Carson to discuss his expectations in that department.  It's about to get as awkward as a true-love-waits Sunday School lesson in which the male leader likens your "special gift" to a present that only your spouse can unwrap.  Which is, yes, very very true, but also skin-crawlingly awkward.

"Downton Abbey: Episode #6.1" (2015)

Charles Carson: Tell her this, Mrs. Patmore. That, in my eyes, she is beautiful. 
Mrs. Patmore: I see. 
Charles Carson: You say she asks if I want a 'full' marriage and the answer is yes, I do. I want a real marriage, a true marriage, with everything that that involves. And I hope I do not ask the indelicate when I send you back to relay this message. 
Mrs. Patmore: Don't worry about me. 
Charles Carson: I love her, Mrs. Patmore. I am happy and tickled and bursting with pride that she would agree to be my wife. And I want us to live as closely as two people can, for the time that remains to us on earth. 
Mrs. Patmore: Well, you couldn't make it any clearer. I'll say that for you. 
Source: IMDB

Men, please copy these lines down verbatim and insert them into your wife's
Valentine's Day card that you will be accompanying with a thoughtful gesture that extends beyond the  card itself.  I want to help you.


Also, I want to convey complete sincerity here, infertility is a delicate subject to approach and I would never want to imply that it is not a serious and emotional struggle that couples face, but they way it is being used in the Anna-Bates storyline stretches one's patience.

Anna finally is cleared any involvement in the death of her attacker, and the minute the couple receive the good news that they are finally free to live their lives again, Anna is all  "I'll never make you happy the way you deserve because I cannot have a child and you're just lying when you say you're happy and it doesn't matter."  

Since this is a fictional drama, OF COURSE we know that Anna will have Bates' child and OF COURSE it will all be wonderful, so I feel like Anna's character feels a bit one-note when dealing with the complex emotions of infertility.  

Anyhoo.  Edith finally has a date with a man who is 1) not 70 and 2) is not moving to pre-Nazi Germany, so hooray, Edith.  Go on, girl.  I'd say "get down with your bad self," but let's not forget her covert pregnancy and the Solomon like push-and-pull between Edith and the Drewe family to raise Marigold.

I won't even bore you with my thoughts on the blackmail Lady Mary plot, except to say I'm over Lady Mary and Lord Grantham is a poorly written character.

Lastly, I have to share my current podcast/IG/Netflix faves:

Netflix:
  The West Wing.  I heart this series.  I watched the first 4 seasons in college and sporadically until it went off the air in 2006.  It feels relevant 10 years later.  I love the passion of the characters, their flaws and sense of moral unction to do what is best for the country.   I wish the politicians on the national stage conveyed the authenticity that the paid actors reciting written dialogue on a TV show do, but that's the way it goes with reality.

IG:  
I started following a mom entrepreneur that another notable suggested and I just enjoy her fun, positive style. Plus she sells the cutest Mom shirts.  I can't make myself purchase one at $35 a throw, but I'd love if someone gifted me one.  (Not that my husband reads this.)

Feel the rhythm...Feel the rhyme. Get on up! ...it's MOMBIE time!😆 Cool Runnings, anyone? I love me a good underdog bobsled movie.😂🙌🏻 ------------------------------------------------ ...anyway....You guys! Good Morning!! I'd love for you to join @_christinaboyce and I for our weekly #MombiesRise series!💀💁🏼 ------------------------------------------------ Just post a picture of your morning super drink and/or your fab messy mom hair, tag us, use the #mombiesrise hashtag and tell us about your morning Mom Life!👍🏻 ------------------------------------------------ I stayed up way too late last night trying to finish my book, A Royal Pain, by Rhys Bowen...but I knew I had to stop when the book fell from my exhausted hands and whacked my poor giant crooked nose.😁🙄...with just 30 pages to go. ------------------------------------------------ I planned on waking up before the kids to finish my royal mystery novel in peace. ...but of course...I had no such luck. Those wild beast children woke me up at 5:45 and I was much too grumpy to read.😭 ------------------------------------------------ I just got BryLee out the door for school. Mav is crying in his crib, trying to go down for a nap since he's done nothing but scream all morning...and Ellie's painting a toilet paper roll telescope at the art table.😆 ------------------------------------------------ ...so I grabbed a breakfast soda and came to my room to finish my book.😊👍🏻 I challenge you to take a few minutes for yourself this morning! Those kids can wait while you have a little mom time.😉 ------------------------------------------------ Have a fabulous day, friends!😊😘😘😘

A photo posted by MaLyn #RealLife #MomLife (@malyn.logic) on Jan 27, 2016 at 5:23am PST

Podcasts:
The blogger behind Modern Mrs. Darcy, a book-lover's dream, has started a new podcast called What Should I Read Next?   The host interviews a book lover and plays "book matchmaking" based on the interviewee's taste in books.  I've also been listening to  Off-Camera with Sam Jones, a movie insider's podcast with notables like Matt Damon and Will Ferrell.  This is also a show on IFC channel.  Some of the movie stars are predictably pretentious about THE CRAFT, but many are fascinating, particularly the Damon and Ferrell interviews.

I'm also pleased to report I've used my elliptical a grand total of 3 times and read my bible maybe 30% of the days in January.  Self-helpers call this imperfect progress, so I'll be honest and take it. 

Have a great Wednesday!

(Oh, p.s. I get to go to Chattanooga with my youth worker friends for the Conclave conference this weekend--Child-free girlfriend/hang out/learning time!  Yay!)

Let's Get to the 25th Already!

Hi, my name is Melissa, and I was hiding from my kids on the stairs scrolling Instagram.

Monday and Tuesday were filled with moments of discipline for each child as 1) it won't stop raining and 2) that makes for a lot of togetherness and 3) children like to antagonize and 4) it was an amateur move to try to wrap presents for others while supervising children.  I wrapped about four in the space of four hours.

We have made it to December 23rd.  We are coloring and snacking and movie-watching and paper roll sword playing and I'm in a better place.

Presents wrapped, house cleanish, clothes washed, Santa gifts on-go to assemble.

Now we are twiddling our thumbs, ready for the big day.

Here's a hodgepodge of holiday goodness and fun finds for your time off:


Man in the High Castle on Amazon streaming
This is sci-fi intrigue set in post-war 1960s America in an alternate reality in which the Allies lost WWII and the United States is ruled by Germany and Japan. I don't know where to start here: you can watch it as a couple; each character is multi-faceted and more keeps being revealed; it plays with reality and feels a bit like Lost as it presents possible outcomes and a blurry line between the natural and supernatural. Plus the lead character is really cute and I like his hair. So he's a Nazi. He has Resistance leanings due to meeting a love interest/new Resistance member. And I'm betting he's Hitler's son. We are hooked and eagerly awaiting Season 2.

My daughters in their Christmas program












  Shameless Overshare 

Our Christmas Letter


2015 At a Glance

It’s always a bit baffling to reach the end of another year at what seems like a breakneck speed.  2015 has been a year of new adventures for our family.  This summer, Alex, in a true act of Dad heroism, took us to Disney World for five sweaty, tiring, but absolutely memorable days.  We visited each park and dined with princesses, kissed Mickey, and rode our fair share off iconic rides. I’m a self-proclaimed sucker for all things Disney and am campaigning for a return to Orlando for a certain young man’s eighth birthday.  In October, we had another amazing experience traveling to Europe following a work conference Alex was selected to attend in Flims, Switzerland.  Our parents each took turns manning the battle stations on the home front with the kids so I could join Alex for four days in Paris and on to Amsterdam to meet up with an old friend of Alex’s and stay with his family.  It was everything we could have hoped for in an overseas trip-- beautiful scenery, delicious food, unexpected discoveries, and best of all, time together and with friends. I’ve said it was once-in-a-lifetime, but I’m hoping we’ll push ourselves to travel more as the children grow older.

The kids are now 7, 5, and 3 respectively. Jeremiah is a first grader in an autism classroom.  He is an affectionate, loving young man who likes to draw, print, bike, and play on his IPAD.  Sometimes his noisy sisters overwhelm his ears, but he is the first to give a hug when needed.  His mom (without any overstatement) is his #1 fan and as for Dad, Jeremiah adores him beyond good sense.

Sarah is going on 6 this January and bounds into a room with energy and sparkle.  She is in Kindergarten at brother’s school and brims over with new information.  She loves fashion and crafts.  Frequently, she helps Mom create new desserts to try.  We call her our cruise director and believe she is the most lovely 5-year-old in existence (all apologies).

Our youngest, Rachel, is the family mascot. 100 percent sass, this little girl selects her outfits (as there are several changes) daily, complete with accessories and makeup-- no lip balm, but red lipstick, please.  Not much makes her mom happier than taming her bedraggled hair with a bow and acting as consultant on her sartorial choices. Rachel tolerates too many hugs and kisses and longs to be “like Sarah” in all things, especially big kid school.  As her middle name suggests, she is an absolute joy.

As for us adults, Alex continues to work as a Programmer at Silvervine Systems.  His team indicated to me that he is the Eeyore of the group as he is on the look-out for potential problems that could arise in any project.  He is a wonderful father to our kids and a supporter in all ways to me as his wife.  I’m very proud of him.

I’ve renewed my contract for my 8th year as an at-home Mom and though each year brings changes to my role, I’m enjoying this new stage.  I’ve become more involved in the kids’ school, and work with 8th grade girls Sunday school--whom I constantly admonish to be nice to their mothers--as well as teach choir to Rachel’s age group.  I blog, attend bible study and a Mom’s group, keep the domestic wheels running, and think wistfully about exercise as I either read or binge Netflix in my off-duty time. We just ordered an elliptical machine, so hello, New Year’s Resolutions!

In closing, we are just plain thankful to have you in our lives and pray this Christmas season and the new year to come are marked by the greatest of these: love. 

*

And from Ann Voskamp's Unwrapping the Greatest Gift  December 23rd reading:

"He came as a Baby because He was done with barriers. He disarmed himself so that you could take Him in your arms.  God came as a Baby because he wants to be unimaginably close to you. What God ever came so tender that we could touch Him? So fragile we could break Him? Only the One who loves you to death. Only the God who had to come to get you, to free you, to be with you....
Christmas isn't about getting something big and shiny. It's about God's doing whatever it takes to be with us-- and our doing whatever it takes to be with Him. (emphasis mine)

He doesn't care if your list is checked or your halls are decked.  He doesn't care if you've spent 25 days preparing your heart or  a lifetime far away from Him.  He cares about you, about us.
He made a way for us, by his righteousness alone.  Isn't that really the best news?  I get swept along in the craziness each year, and I always arrive back to wonder seated in our Christmas Eve service--  Son of God, Love's Pure Light.

Merry, merry Christmas, dear friends.

Sending Christmas Cards in 50 Simple Steps

I just sent my second batch of Christmas cards.  I placed them on my lap as I pulled up to the post office box and took a picture.  I was about the ponder filters when I realized there was a nice lady waiting patiently behind my car.

I'm having a little sit-down with myself about this, promise.

I started to back-track all the steps I've taken to send these cards, and I present them below for your amusement.

1. Realize it's Fall and High Season for family pictures.
2. Float the idea casually to my husband.
3. Husband readily concedes as he knows this is a lost cause.
4. Price out photography sessions.
5. Contact photographer.
6. Set date.
7. Ponder family attire.
8. Go to Target for "some things".
9. Reschedule session due to weather.
10. Take pictures on a weekday afternoon, i.e. Get kids home, fed snack, repair hair, and clothe in subtle autumnal finery--dressy casual, natch.
11.  Curl hair, allow for last minute scarf debate, ponder options for best figure enhancement.  Don boots and big earrings.
12. Iron two options for Dad's shirt.  Iron son's shirt and daughter's dress.
13.  Meet Dad at a park and present shirt choices.  Realize this is a bit much.
13. Smile pretty.
14. Encourage children to smile pretty.
15. Promise playground time for smiling pretty.
16. Snag one last shot just-in-case.  We always need just-in-case.
17. Play on playground.
18.  Bribe anxious child with donuts and a promise to come back to park later.
19. Fall out on the couch upon arriving at home.
20. Wait 2 weeks for proofs.
21.  Wait an extra day for proofs as photographer's site is down.
22.  Drive to pick up CD of finished portraits to get them in my hot hand right now.
23.  Obsessively look at sun lit pictures of my offspring like the loon I am.
24.  Debate over posting offspring's pictures.
25. Post offspring's pictures.
26. Begin card hunt.
27. Find groupon and order cards.
28. Wait for cards.
29. Receive cards.
30.  Frame card.
31.  Find inspiration and deep dive into my OneDrive for all family pictures from Christmas 2008 forward.
32.  Order said pictures.
33. Order best sibling picture on canvas.
34. Realize it's time to send the cards.
35. Send husband out for pretty stamps.
36. Address and write a personalized note on batch one to my girls' life group.
37. Realize a year in review letter might be nice.
38.  Write year in review letter seeking to strike a tone between earnest, self-deprecating, and humorous.
39. Proofread and feel optimistic about tone.
40. Select pretty pens and address second batch of cards.
41. Sign letters.
42. Write personalized notes on cards.
43. Stamp and seal.
44. Drive to post office and drop off.
45. Take obnoxious picture.
46. Chuckle at myself.
47.  Count up the money I've spent on cards that may stay on a mantle for 2 weeks and quickly shove such practical thoughts aside.
48. Realize this is good blog material.
49. Blog and import obnoxious picture.
50. Post blog to minister to any woman who embraces the lengths we go to as Good Will Ambassadors for our families.

The End.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

This December

Because it's the kind of day where I dug out the emergency set of back-up clothes from my son's backpack because everything else is dirty.

Because last night we spent 45 minutes in tears over the last bite of a hot dog with my daughter.  Making a point over a hot dog, yup, totally dumb.  But we're gonna learn simple obedience.  If we demand our way, we will learn consequences.  Yes, ma'am, we will.

Because I got little sleep heading into a Monday back from a holiday and by 5 p.m. squabbles, I made a NO CHIPS proclamation because snack-sized chips are for LUNCHES  and THIS IS FOOLISHNESS and I WON'T BUY THEM ANYMORE.  Then I threw my hairbrush on the ground.  Had a fit.  I can be a real delight, sometimes.

Because I spent a half hour explaining that we can wear our princess dress at home and to the store and most places, but it's not fair to the other little girls to wear it to preschool.  So I laid out three outfit choices (dresses only, naturally) to be worn after the princess dress to school.

Because everyone in the house has been sick at some point in the last two weeks.

Because the sink is overflowing.

Because why, oh why, am I sweating on the first day of December?

Because I have 7 highly trained, amazing professionals in my children's lives that I want to honor with a thoughtful gift, and I haven't a clue.

Because sometimes we say thoughtless things to the ones we love the most.

Because I've gained a new rock to carry around in my pack, and I'm weary of it.  If I talk about body image one more time, my own eyes will roll up in my head because I'm exhausting to myself.

Because we have enough of everything that my biggest problems are my excess.

Because a full calendar might cause stress, but it means I have somewhere to go.

Because it's Christmas.

I'm ready.

For peace in the swirling chaos.  Hope in the noise.  Love without conditions.

For Advent.

Dare I Name It? Is This Contentment?

Nay, even joy?

It might be the recent week-long vacation (okay, very probably) that has lead to a slower November, but in a group discussion on stress yesterday, I realized that my stressors didn't feel so overwhelming.  The grind and hustle didn't feel so burdensome, and if I had to list out what really stressed me and caused worry, it was things to come in the future.

What is the best schooling option for Jeremiah? 
If it's not local, would a long-term move be worth it? How would affect the family as a whole?
Is our family complete?  If so, am I okay with that?  If not, am I okay with the unknown? 
Do I want to /will I go back to work?  What would that look like? When would I do that?
How do I enjoy this season without looking behind or too far ahead?

Lots of questions I'd venture to guess roll around in minds of many women.  (Men everywhere, and by that I mean the two or three male relatives that read this blog: You're most welcome for the female mind's inner workings.)

Very important things with long reaching implications.  But, today, I'm content with it.  Me, with my regular Regis Philbin freak-outs.  Am okay with it.

My youngest daughter does this thing where she caresses my cheek when she's trying to be extra adorable.  It helps if this is done immediately after, to be colloquial, pooping in her underwear.  I threaten to "call the Doctor to give her yucky medicine," but I think be both know that's a game we're playing and she's winning.  Today she wore a pink tutu over her leggings and a Frozen t-shirt paired with sparkly Mary Janes and accessorized that with an Elsa side braid.  I get to hug and kiss her approximately 87 times a day and I just can't even with all the joy she brings me.

My older daughter is going through a lot of huffing and puffing about obedience and respect to Mom and Dad.  Send her to her room or turn off the television without her express written consent and she's dying a thousand deaths.  But then, she's the one who greeted me the morning we returned from our trip with such heartfelt emotion.  She was glad her parents were home.  She thanks God for all the love we have today and feels things so intensely.  Somehow, she belongs to me for a short while.

And my Jeremiah.  Oh my word.  He is such a rascal.  Will he set off the alarm at 7 a.m. because well, it's morning and time to go?  Yes.  Sneak into the all my hiding places for candy or sugary drinks or a toy?  Yes.  Do I have to keep after him about remembering to flush/put on underwear/bring along his IPad/not shut the door eleventy-billion times when someone leaves the room for a moment? YES.  But we played ball this morning.  He made so much eye contact.  He enjoys lots of hugs and kisses in the morning and after school.  He asked the girls to watch him make the Toca Boca doctor game on the IPad toot so they could all giggle.  He told his Dad, "NO! It's not time for supper," when I called everyone to eat.  He is a seven-year-old boy. Full stop.  Looking back, a lot of parenting him has been trail by fire.  We've come to a place where it is not.  (Hallelujah and amen.)

I notice that I've not said anything about the leader of this family (oh, I said it!  I'm so hopelessly backwards or refreshingly honest.  You pick.)   But basically, we can disagree about political or theological viewpoints, sure, but we can also be together, non-stop, no breaks, for a week and find this a good thing.  We can have a once-in-a-lifetime week abroad and then hit Sam's Club the next Saturday for a very enjoyable date night.   He will also turn off a football game (not a Georgia one, but still) and offer to watch one of my movies.  Basically: keeper.

What I'm saying is that joy and contentment are not the absence of struggle or pain or worry. 

It's noticing what comes from and through it. 

Today, I'm just able to notice.