Downton Abbey, Episodes Pure Confection and Enough with the Fated Bates, Already

Mary, Edith, and Tom: Take note.

Hey college friends who like my Downton posts!  Y'all are too sweet. I've been off my DA game.  Two weeks ago Alex was travelling and I was in a mood.  Case in point: I decided I deserved a Birchbox subscription as a belated Valentine after two weeks of barf.  This past Sunday was the Oscars.  I made it to 11:00 before I clicked it off, deciding sleep would be a wise choice.  With all this winter rain and gloom, I'm in bed by 8:30 and dozing off with the lights blaring at 9:00 p.m. if I'm not careful.  So, no Downton Sundays.

I did, of course, watch both episodes and have some thoughts.  This won't be a play-by-play recap as the next one comes on Sunday, so the bloom is off the bud of the snarky rose.  Let's jump in:

Mary, Mary, quite Contrary:  I think Mary needs a bit of a time-out.  As much as I'd like her to end up with a nice man (like Charles "The Fox" Blake), she has been a very unsympathetic character of late.  She's always been a bit of a mean girl, but the writers are quick to bring us back in, usually with a tender moment between her and Carson. Last week was no exception.  She sees Lane Fox and Tony together and happy, and while glad to be off the hook, she seems at a loss.  Mary: The Heiress Who Cried Wolf.  If she was a modern day character, it'd be best if she told any prospective suitors that she really needs to focus on her child/her career/herself/it's not you, it's me.  I think Tom has the right idea with moving to America.  All the young adults of Downton would be well served to leave their mama's house and forge a new path.

Which brings me to Edith.  Oh, I was so disappointed that she decided to move back home and pretend she was only Maribel's caretaker and godmother.  Live in the light, Edith.  It was a bold move to assert herself and get her child back.  She needs to go the whole way and just "live her truth" to pull an Oprah-ism.  Get a little home, run your publishing company, get a good nanny and raise your child.  Be happy.  The end.

I was so glad to see Rose and Atticus marry and the  family back the couple.  So sad that her mother tried to ruin the couple's happiness in her misguided attempts to protect Rose.

Lastly, the Bates.  Oh, the Bates.  Whatever will happen to the Bates?  Especially when the death penalty is concerned. (Name that movie.)  It was a great dramatic twist to have Anna suspected of Greene's murder, but the tragic-lovers bit is wearing thin with me.  It stretches plausibility that Bates would be suspected, only to have never carried out his original intent and then have Greene's victim suspected of the murder.  I won't hazard a guess as to how this will unravel, but I know there's no way Anna's character's going anywhere.

I liked seeing Daisy, Ms. Baxter, and Mr. Molesly form a group friendship as well as Thomas stepping in and helping the new servant not get swindled by Ms. Dinker (what a name).

I believe this Sunday will be the season finale and you can bet your pearls I'll be watching--and blogging--promptly.  Cheers!

A Non-Ranty Insight About Why 50 Shades Isn't For Me

I know.  Another moralistic voice shouting in the wind in faux outrage over the flavor of the week.

Except it's not.

I've read a blog post that exhorts wives not to watch the movie because it creates a false image and that our imaginations should be satisfied by our husbands.  Don't disagree there.

And yeah, the movie has A WHOLE LOT of nudity and sex.  But so do a lot of movies.

And let's be honest, even if I was curious enough to want to see the movie (I'm not), I wouldn't go because hello, middle Georgia.  You just know that you'd see the Chairman of the Deacon board in the lobby.

I was thinking about it tonight.  I try to be discerning in what I watch and read.  I think my passion for Hallmark movies and chaste, prairie romances is well-documented.  But I went to The Kingsmen: The Secret Service movie this weekend, a totally well-deserved R-rated movie with lots and lots of inane violence (skip it).  And I have been known to watch a Bravo series now and again.  So, why this movie?  Why the self-imposed restriction?

Because the degrading of another person is wrong, regardless of their consent. I'll go a step further: It's not just wrong--it's evil.

Let me be clear. I'm not trying to denounce anyone who would entertain watching this movie or reading the book as being evil or degraded.

What I am saying is the portrayal of a woman submitting to violence in the name of romance and fantasy is straight up wrong and scary.

What bothers me is that young teenagers will sneak this movie on video at a friend's house or grab their parent's copy of the book and think of it as purely escapist fiction.  No harm done. There's nothing cute about physical cruelty, and making the male lead a handsome, misunderstood billionaire doesn't change that.  The glamorization of violence in a physical relationship is not okay.

Maybe I wouldn't have connected the dots of my own hypocrisy if I had not watched that incredibly violent movie yesterday, and then followed it up with a Dateline episode to balance out the perfectly delightful Hallmark original I sandwiched in between the two that Alex lovingly watched alongside me.

The Dateline episode dealt with a young college student who had been assaulted and killed by a man involved in sadomasochism and bondage (eek, never thought I write that on a Mom blog).  He influenced his girlfriend,"the submissive," to bring home another person to be a plaything.  The man was 10 years older than his girlfriend, and had a history of abuse with a former girlfriend.  His "hobby" resulted in the brutal murder of a lovely young woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No.  I'm not saying 50 Shades is going to turn America's youths into sexual deviants.  But I am saying that this movie is subtly (or not-so-subtly, more like) sending the message that there are no limits in love.  I'm saying the searing of a conscience is a real and frightening possibility.

Love without limits is. a. LIE.  And friend, if you know me, you know where I think it comes from: the father of lies.  Oh yes, I just played the satan card.  I believe in the reality of evil and an enemy to the one true God.

Good, true, healthy love?  It has limits and boundaries.  It respects another's thoughts, feelings, body, and spirit.  Those entities cannot be separated.  True love does no harm. I appreciate these excellent pieces on real love by Ann Voskamp and Beth Moore that so eloquently expound on this concept.

I'm not going to yell and bluster about this movie.  We Christians get a bad rap for doing that already. I wanted to work out these thoughts for myself, and I was surprised at where they led me.  I'm terrible at debate and arguments of logic.  I always go back to the heart, and the bottom line is that I believe every woman fears abuse.  We cannot gloss it over as romance or call it a "grey" area, pun entirely intended.  We are worth more than that, both men and women. Each of us has a God given dignity. And I won't watch a fictional character demean hers, as it demeans my own.

Downton Abbey, Episode You Gotta Have Friends

Hey DA friends!  This is me chiming in late to the latest DA installment, but Sunday night didn't feel very indulgent as my stomach was a raging inferno of hate.  I felt semi-human again last night and caught up on the goings on.  If you were waiting with baited breath for my take (sarcasm font), here goes.

The theme of this episode could be Reconciliations, New Pairings and Unlikely Allies. To wit:

Thomas and Ms. Baxter: I'm just gonna go all Freshman Honors English and scream REDEMPTIVE FIGURE.  Ms. Baxter has been refined by hardship and suffering and the one person in the house she has received the worst treatment from is the very person she is supporting.  She makes Thomas go to the doctor and stop taking the rubbish injections and exhorts him to put his mind to some greater goal, as he works so hard at schemes.  Thomas just needs Jesus, people.  I'm sorry, but yeah.  He needs some unconditional love and I'm glad he's found a friend in Ms. Baxter.

Molesly and Daisy:  A sweet moment where Molesly shares that he had to quit school at 12, but always dreamed of teaching.  If he can't escape, Daisy should, and he offers to help tutor her.  For all the soapy elements in this series, it does it's best work in the small, ordinary moments.  That's where all the most special things seem to happen in life.

Mabel Lane Fox and Charles "The Fox" Blake: Oh, these kidders. They remind me of a B plot in any Shakespearean comedy. The unlikely duo team up to woo Tony Gillingham back to MLF by arranging for Tony's former love to enter a co-ed riding tournament. They played the dramatic DA theme during the race and I was thinking to myself that this felt like a Bonnie Blue Butler moment from Gone With The Wind. We can't handle anymore lead characters not long for this world.  The riders thankfully finish the race intact.

As it is such a long journey home for MLF, of course she is invited to stay at the Great House.  Mary wants nothing more for MLF to have her man, but she reminds her that she can't make it too easy.  She's determined to remind both men that she is the most pretty princess.  She's got a new flapper inspired haircut and her hairdresser quietly retorted after she leaves that while the look reminded him of a skinned cat, she could at least pull it off.

A "de-frumped" Mary

Everybody's a critic, even if the style is rather jolly

Anna and Bates:  Bates finds the erm, unusual device and literature that Anna has been hiding for Lady Mary.  He accuses her of lying, that she never wanted his child.  He finally lays it out on the table that she doesn't want a murderer's baby.  He confesses that he knew Greene attacked her, and did intend to kill him.  He realizes that killing the man would mean the noose for him, and he couldn't do that to Anna.  He keeps the un-torn return ticket, a key piece of evidence that has most likely been discarded by Mrs. Hughes in an effort to keep the trip secret.

Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson: Oh, so sweet.  Instead of asking Mrs. Hughes out to dinner, Carson asks if perhaps they could buy an investment property together-- purely for business purposes, you understand--to build a nest egg for retirement.  Basically, he wants to grow old with her and this is his clumsy overture in my estimation.  This needs to happen. They are my very most favoritest couple on the show.

Cora and Robert: Cora schools Robert, informing him that if he has never let a flirtation go too far, he should remain in his own quarters. If not, get your hind end back in our room.  The end.  Go Cora Girl!

Violet and the Prince:  The Prince reveals to Violet that he has never loved his wife as much as she did and still does love her.  He remarks that she must feel it is ill-bred to admit to being unhappy in a marriage.  She implies that he does know her well.  It's great to see a new vulnerability in Violet.

Edith and Maribel:  We finally get the news that Gregson has been killed by a Nazi mob and it has taken a year to find his body.  He has left Edith his publishing company and she takes her child away from the foster family (heartbreaking, too much to analyze in this post, but man, the power of a mother's love, both Edith's and the foster mother's.  It was like the Solomon story.) Edith slips away with Maribel, saying goodbye to Tom only, and checks into a London hotel, promising her daughter ice cream and that they would be as happy as they wished.  Edith smiled for perhaps the first time this season and it was a very fitting end to an satisfying episode.

I give it two snaps. 

JellyTelly & Bloom Devotionals

I'm sitting at a pizza booth all by my blissfully alone self for a few minutes while Dad has Monkey Joe's on lock. We left home past lunchtime and didn't have the fight in us to make them wait any longer for the Mecca that is bouncy castles and overpriced merry-go-rounds most likely carrying the latest round of influenza. (No, really, we all enjoy it.) So they'll eat and play and I'll enjoy my thoughts uninterrupted.

My lunch companion

So, instead of staring into space with my thoughts, I'm gonna bang out a quick rec for the JellyTelly website.

Basically, YES. You need to get this. It's $40 annually or $5 monthly. You can stream it via Roku and download the app to your mobile device and are not limited to the number of screens with which you can access the content.  It has What's in the Bible, Jesus Storybook Bible videos and old favorites like Bibleman. It has games that help with Scripture memory. Best of all, for me, is the family devotional called Bloom. It is posted each Sunday night and can be printed out. It takes 5 minutes to complete around the dinner table or at bedtime and it is on a young child's level. There is a weekly verse, and each night has a different focus. Monday is the anchor bible story, Tuesday is church history (a doxology or a catechism question), Wedneday and Thursday are days to reflect on prayer for ourselves and others and Friday is a look back at the week and a traditional prayer.

It's encouraging to me because it showed me I was on the right track already: "Oh, I say the Lord's Prayer with my kids already! Maybe I do have good instincts!" I know I'm not alone in my struggle to get faith "right" with my family. I remind myself a lot of of the simple things my parents did or said well that I carry with me. You teach and train and mess up and send them out one day. Then it's theirs to live or to reject. They'll learn some things only through heartbreak, as much as we'd like to rescue them from it. And guess what? The Lord is Sovereign and He is gonna work it out. You can take that to the bank.  I might need to start waving my non-existent hanky right now, because seriously, our God is faithful.

So here's one more tool to nurture your family's spiritual life. I highly recommend it! And make sure to read the site's history and mission. The proof is in the pudding.

Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! (5)

Hey there, DA friends.  It's Tuesday, so it's already been two days since the last episode aired and I'm going to lose all my blogging cache and personal investment if I don't put down a few thoughts before the next installment.

I had a wild hair to put on an English-style head adornment and make a video blog (a vlog, as the internets calls them), but my youngest began throwing up at 3 a.m. Monday, and in the car, and my son is losing a tooth and having tummy troubles, so I didn't get around to it when it was 9:30 and I was folding Mt. Santized Sheets and wearing my UF sweatshirt, baggy middle-aged jeans and greasy hair.  I thought it might even be fun to thrown my now clean pink robe over the whole thing and go ahead and stick the feathery concoction in my hair, but then I remembered there are things you can't unsee and maybe it'd be best not to humiliate myself on the youtube.

Basically, I wanted to do this.

Still.  I think the idea has potential.  Maybe for the big finale.

Sooooo.  THE FIGHT!  Rumble in the jungle (gilded bedchamber!)  I mean, whoa.  That was pure soap how the audience saw Robert climbing the stairs, just back from his trip and Mr. Bricker has sauntered in to Cora's dressing room, all slicked back hair and silk smoking jacket like Pepe Lepew.  It's nice to see Cora get more of a story line in this episode because she's mostly set dressing in this series.  She seems vapid and obilvious (the scene where Edith, Violet, and Rosamund are discussing what to do with Maribel while Cora walks in unexpectedly made me sad for her as a mother... how can you not see your child is that unhappy?) but in a previous episode where she talks about growing up in America and how different her life is as a great Lady made her more interesting.  She's had some great lines over the past few seasons, particularly when Sybil died and when she comforted Edith after being gilted.  My favorite of her lines: "I'm an American. Have gun, will travel" when the estate is in danger of being lost after Robert (surprise) has lost all the money she brought to the marriage really made me root for her.  Obviously, marriages are made up of two flawed people, and Cora and Robert are no exception.  I've always enjoyed how the show underscored that there is real affection and tenderness in the marriage that has weathered years and tragedy.  It will be interesting to see how THE FIGHT impacts their relationship.

Now, we return you to THE FIGHT after that short character and marital anaylsis.  It was all kinds of awkward to see Robert full-on lunge upon Bricker and pummel him.  Dudes were rolling on the ground.  Poor Cora is ever the put-upon lady, telling them to hush while she dismisses Edith at the door:"It's nothing, poppet," she assures her, sensitive to her baby but clueless that her child HAS A CHILD and is confused and miserable.  These few episodes have highlighted that Cora and Robert are drifting and though I'm sure they will stay together (tradition, status, and mutual affection), it was sad to see Cora trying so hard to draw Robert out at the cocktail party and him stonewalling her.  It was so stereotypically English to see him totally retreat after the scuffle with an "I'm going to sleep in my dressing room" as if he had a headache and had not put the beat down on a rival for trifling with his woman.  No more was said about it immediately, which honestly might be wise, but a radio silence in a marriage is never a good thing.

So many more plot points to recap, so many child-rearing details to attend to, so I'll meta-recap:

Mary's Love Life:  Charles Blake continues to be in Mary's vocabulary, yummy.  He casually invites Lane Fox to dinner with Mary to encourage Miss Fox not to be stupid, that she still loves Tony, and to just go pick up the pieces of his broken heart.  To which she retorts that she doesn't need Mary's leftovers and that Tony dumped her flat the minute Mary crooked her finger.  To which I say,  two snaps, Miss Fox.  I like you.  I think you and Mary could honestly be great snark sisters were it not for your mutual involvement with one Mister Tony Gillingham.  Drat.  As to Mr. Blake,  he is, in my estimination, playing out that classic maxim from Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus:  He's emotionally snapping away like a rubber band, acting like just an amused third party at the Mary-Tony shenanigans, but makes himself indepensable to Mary, making her, ultimately, choose him.  Just a guess.  He's not Mathew, a paragon of virtue and Mary's One True Love, as any Downton romantic would espouse (like me), but he is all kinds of cute and smart and I believe, kind, and Mary will meet her match in him.  Stay tuned.

Edith's Situation: Edith is sick that she has been effectively shut out of her child's life and as the episode ends, we see her phoning London, a clue that she plans to run away with her child.  And maybe magically Griegson will find her and they'll elope, tra la la la la, all's well that ends well.  I hope, anyway.

Bates and Anna:  They are hoping to have a child.  Anna has such a pure heart.  I really admire her character.  The pressure is being applied from Scotland Yard and while I don't think we'll see another trial/prison sentence, their fate is precarious.

Molesly, Ms. Baxter, and Barrow:  I also really enjoy Ms. Baxter.  She is a survivor.  Her friendship with Molesly continues to grow.  Barrow is tormented by the treatment he is undergoing (which has interesting parallels to the recent movie, The Imitation Game).  Barrow is such a complicated character.  He makes it so hard to pity him for long.  He is so unhappy and unloved that he the only sort of pleasure he finds in life is by making trouble for his rivals, in this case, Mr. Bates.

Isobel and Violet and their suitors: Violet has been searching for information on the Prince's missing wife and has news of her location.  Isobel and Lord Gray grow closer and she is close to a decision.  Even Dr. Clarkson admits they seem well suited.  DOUBLE WEDDING, folks!

Lady Rose meets a nice, cute, and (obviously) rich young man who happens to have Jewish ancestors.  That's sure to make for another intersting dinner party.

Lastly, Tom and Miss Bunting.  She loves him, she knows she can't have him, and she leaves.  He admires her and kisses her goodbye.  Tom's a good guy.

Thanks for reading and TTFN, dear DA friends!