It Didn't Lose My Mind, Just My Pride. I'm Doing the Whole 30.

The only thing new and noteworthy going on right now for me is that I've started a new eating plan, and I've resisted documenting it here because it feels like, so done, that I'm rolling my eyes right now at how cliche it is.

However, I'm on day 15 of a clean eating plan called The Whole 30  that calls for a complete elimination of dairy, grain, legumes, any added sugars (real or artificial), alcohol and tobacco.  

So in my terms, no mac n' cheese, no heavenly bread basket, no whipped, creamy goodness of any sort, no crackers (pause for solemn regret), or chips or pretzels or CHOCOLATE AT ALL.  No holy shiitake mushroom pizza at Mellow Mushroom.  No Sonic drinks. No post bedtime carb gorge. Nope, none, NADA.

I'm completely serious.

I decided to do this wacky thing called nutrition after being gently asked one too many times if perhaps I had reason to be congratulated-- albeit while wearing Spanx underneath my leggings and dress.  It was the last moment in a line of gentle humiliations that broke the camel's (middle-aged mama's) back.  And when I wore a sweater that tied at my midsection and a kindly great-grandmother asked if I knew if I was having a boy or girl.

All the bless-my-hearts.

I gamely enthused, "It'll be a surprise!" and kept on my way. 

(My other go-to response for phantom baby inquiries is, "No!  But I'd be glad to receive a word of prophesy!" Big smile and keep on goin'.)

So, I'm eating well.

I went home a few weeks ago after the Spanx incident (an undergarment can only do so much) and bought the first of the Whole 30 books, It Starts With Food, and made my grocery list to start working in Paleo-style dinner meals.

Two weeks later,  I ripped off the band-aid, made some clarified butter and homemade mayo, and started the eating plan.

The funny thing about the plan is that it's pretty strict and tough-lovey.  Fighting cancer is hard, the authors declare, and drinking your coffee black is just not.   Though for the record, I'm putting unsweetened coconut or cashew milk in mine and it's a little mind-game I'm happy to play.

In terms of changes, I've noticed that just intellectually telling myself all junk food is off limits (and even some fairly good foods like quinoa and beans) was enough. In the last two weeks, I haven't cried myself to sleep over my lack of comfort foods (the book calls these SWYPO-- Sex With Your Pants On-- which is hilarious and true).  

My main meals are bananas with almond or cashew butter (surprisingly delicious), eggs and sausage, homemade curried chicken salad over lettuce, roasted vegetables (asparagus, brussel sprouts, potatoes with Italian spices--excellent) and simple skillet chicken and ground beef dishes with a variety of spices and vegetables.  I'll snack on dates with nut butter or a Lara bar (still high in natural sugars-- but c'mon-- you know what they say about how long it took to build Rome).  Today I ate leftover vegetable beef soup with sweet potatoes and butter lettuce with tomatoes and homemade avacado dressing.  

It sounds a smidge prideful, but once I stocked up on sea salt, cracked peppper, nut butters, a few natural treats and pulled out my magic bullet, I've gotten the basics down.  I still make my kids spaghetti every week, and just eat in leftovers or a substitute for myself.

I ate my salad without the dressing  the first time I went to a restaurant.  I only smelled the fresh bread.  I bought doughnuts for my Sunday School class with nary a care.  I resisted pizza.  I ate the ham off the Publix sub at a picnic and left the rest uneaten.

In summary, I am a bit tickled with myself.

I still very much enjoy all those vices, and may decide to extend my total elimination phase to 60 days to give me a bit more practice with true nutrition.  The plan does not expect for you to never eat these foods again, but to understand how they affect your body and which ones should and should not be reintroduced to your diet,

And obviously, I'm hoping to start shedding a few pounds.  I appreciate that this plan does not require calorie counting on top of all the food restrictions or I'd never have tried it.  It extols healthy fats at each meal, with lots of animal protein and vegetables.

I can do that. 

The only negative effects I've had were on the first night, where I woke up very sick to my stomach and afraid I had a stomach bug.  I think my system was just shocked and freaking out.  

The average amount of weight lost on Whole30 is said to be around 6-15 pounds for most people, and I have a feeling I'll probably only lose a few, but I'm pleased with myself for making the effort.

I didn't get around to taking a "before" picture to chart my progress, but I notice that I'm sleeping extremely well.  I have terrible allergies and am struggling through the pollen, but I'd love to think that eating better might help if I keep at it.

I'll report back in a few weeks.

If you didn't check out at "stomach bug", here's some non-diet items of interest:

Dave Barnes has new music out and it reminds me of the Eagles.

There is now a West Wing Weekly Podcast, so those power Netflix binges this winter will pay off.  One of the hosts is Joshua Malina, who joined the cast in the fourth season.

Check out the Jamie Ivey Podcast episode with Sally Lloyd Jones, author of the Jesus Storybook Bible.  She talks about excellence in the arts and not giving our leftover efforts to children.  Really enjoyed it.

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Old Navy has some really cute spring clothes right now, especially the Pixie cut pant that tapers at the ankle and is just very flattering.  They also have 5 inch inseams for Maude (that's me) and I feel appropriate and summery.  And these great camisoles with wide straps that won't get shredded in my dryer.  I highly endorse the Spring '16 offerings of Old Navy.  The End.

I "taught" a wreath tutorial for a Moms group this week after throwing caution to the wind this Christmas and making 8 teacher wreaths for my kids' teachers, helpers, and therapists.  Me teaching a craft class is just hilarious.  All the ladies successfully made a wreath and fun was had by all.   Here's the tutorial I used. It's very user-friendly for those who don't see themselves as crafty.

Deco Mesh Wreath Tutorial

Here's my first one from Christmas:

Y'all, I made this. New levels of grown-up lady status achieved today. Making 6 for teacher gifts. I'm a stranger to myself.

A photo posted by Melissa (@thejaybirdblog) on Dec 12, 2015 at 9:32am PST

Summer Tunics and When to Tuck In Your Shirt: A Primer

Okay, y'all.  I have a shirt for you.  THE SUMMER TUNIC.  It is a gift.  I received two long tunic cotton shirts in white and chambray for Mother's Day from J. Crew (because fancy) and they are terrific.  I couldn't find the exact match, but this is close:

White Endless Shirt (I know the picture is tee-tiny, but I could only get a thumbnail)



Old Navy Linen Tunic
(If I was buying this with my own money, this is the route I'd go-- only $24!)


If I may extol the virtues of this tunic:

1. You can wear it with the sleeves down or rolled up the three-quarter as they are something called "pique" sleeves, with that little piece of fabric sewn on the inside to secure the rolled-up cuff.

2.  You can wear this with some capris or capri leggings even.

3.  No mid-section/ bottom half drama.  This is the winner here.  If you don't have those problems, you could tuck in or even do the side knot.  Perhaps your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

4. It breathes!  I worn the chambray shirt yesterday with white capris and didn't need a full-length camisole, so even though it is a longer shirt, I was very comfortable in the 84 degree weather.

5. This would seamlessly transition to Fall with jeans.

I mentioned in the blog title that sometimes you need to tuck in your shirt.  This is not something I have done in good conscience since entering motherhood. However, if you like to wear jersey skirts and not necessarily discuss your long-range family planning, here's my trial-and-error tutorial.

1. Spanx.

2. Tuck in shirt.

3.  Lightweight shrug if needed to peel on and off when in public (on) and private (off).

4. Stand up straight, do the "arm pop and shift weight" trick, and bam!  You have a waist again.

Here's photographic evidence of how I wore the same outfit after my trial-and-error lesson.

Now, go friends, and do likewise.

It's a Tricky Business These Days...

Pants.  I'm gonna talk about my pants now.  (Remember that Five Iron Frenzy song, early 2000s listeners of Christian ska?)

So, lots of bloggers have lamented the decline of women's pants and make leggings the object of scorn and derision for Ladies Who Carpool and/or Exercise Over the Age of 18.

There's this:

And this:




Well, there were A LOT of leggings this Sunday at my place of worship... so much so that I wanted to text another "Are They Pants?" Enthusiast to discuss.  I have no pants-stones to throw as I own two pairs of  jeggings (though actual denim) and one pair of leggings that I wear in public.

My own legging/jegging philosophy is that they are best to wear with a dress or mini-dress or a looong tunic that does the high-low number with a few good inches draping below your private business.

Which brings me to my newest clothing finds:

 d.jeans Sexy High Waist Jean

I got these today at TJMaxx for $17 and they are both skinny and high waisted in the best sense.  These are the jeans for any woman who does not have a 26.2 sticker on her vehicle but still wants to wear her tall boots without forsaking brownies or modesty.  I'm very excited.  They are super comfortable.

Also, I found some NYDJ (Not Your Daughter's Jeans) in a skinny cut.  The ankle is not quite skinny enough for a tall boot, but they fit very nicely if you like a natural waist style. I believe they go up to size 16.   They retail for a bit more (around the $100 mark) so I decided to go ahead and get them for $40 at TJMaxx.  I wear jeans almost everyday, and even though it makes me worry that my fashion sense has not evolved enough, it's what I like to wear most days.  I have another pair in this brand in a soft trouser pant style and I've heard good things about their jeans, so I think I'll be pleased.

 

NYDJ Samantha Skinny (Mine are last season so these are the closest to what I got)

I hope these finds bless you on your quest for pants-that-are-pants-you-can-wear-with-cute-shoes-and-breezy-blouses.  Praise the Lord and pass the Lycra reinforcement.

Whether Broccoli or Prime Rib

As I sat at the breakfast table today, I decided to read the Message, a bible paraphrase.  Now, lest I set myself up falsely, let me disclose that more often than not my daily morning reading consists of scrolling through a newsfeed and at best reading some inspirational blogs.  Consistent scripture reading continues to be a discipline that I too often neglect.  But today, I opened to Romans 12-14  and the modern paraphrase of the truth contained struck my eyes in a new way:

Romans 13:6-9 (The Message)  What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

Which reminds me of these verses also written by Paul:

1Corinthians 10:31-33 (NIV)

 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble,whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33 even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

1 Corinthians 10: 31-33 (The Message) So eat your meals heartily, not worrying about what others say about you—you’re eating to God’s glory, after all, not to please them. As a matter of fact, do everything that way, heartily and freely to God’s glory. At the same time, don’t be callous in your exercise of freedom, thoughtlessly stepping on the toes of those who aren’t as free as you are. I try my best to be considerate of everyone’s feelings in all these matters; I hope you will be, too.

So maybe you've picked up on that fact that I sometimes get caught up in people pleasing and the opinions of others.  I can often be tossed about by every wave of "the best way of do everything better... now!"  Specifically as it deals with health and nutrition.

Much like the discipline of scripture reading, I want to mind my health better and the way I raise my kids to eat well and exercise.  But so often I feel a nagging sense of guilt that I DON'T think is from the Lord.  Certainly, I know my body is the vessel of His spirit.  It is a gift.

However, just as He wants me to know Him more because I love him (less out of duty, more out of love), I think he wants me to improve my health and eating habits out of this truer motivation. Not out of guilt or shame from a blog or blurb I've read.

As both a typical mom trying to navigate the perfectionistic and false ideals we've created about what it means to be a woman, wife and mother and as an 'autism' mom, I feel this extra pressure to be better about what we eat.  It's a repetitive battle, "I know I should, I know I should, I know I should."

But this little engine's not ready to climb that particular mountain today.

We're climbing constipation and withholding.  Climbing expectations and reality.  Climbing relationship buiding.  And we are gaining. We are gaining!

So when I read that little bit about "if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli,"  I smiled. 

God's pleased with me whether I eat broccoli or prime rib.  Even if I eat two icing-from-a-can cupcakes and and my kids eat Cheez-Its (solely for explanatory purposes, you understand).

He's pleased with us as believers whether we eat a certain restricitve diet, or we don't.  Whether we're fit or we're not.  Whether we fit into an ever-changing defintion of "good" or not.

Because He is Good.  The Only Good.  He is God.  

And because of Jesus,  He is pleased with me.

Despite and in spite of my behavior.

So know that today.  In Christ, God is pleased with you.  Right where you are.

Works for Me...

I haven't posted anything lately and I know all three of you missed me. :0 )  I have a friend who writes a funny blog Monday through Friday with each day on a theme.  So today,  I'll do a "Works For Me" Wednesday.  Maybe I can keep it up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

The backstory:
Ever since I graced my first maternity store, I've been wearing a half camisole under my shirts because 1) most maternity tops are low cut and 2) everything expands during pregnancy.  The brand I found in the store, Noppies, is a European brand and about $30 for one camisole.  I haven't be able to find another similar camisole until NOW.  I've found that I still wear my camisole every. single. day. and its getting a little sad looking.  I think I will need extra 'help' with my underpinnings all the days of my life.  Here's my find.

The Bandini by Barely There, sold at Kohl's at about$ 16 for a two pack.  Comes in various colors (black and neutral are best) and though it is marketed as a alternative for your traditional support garment (SG), I highly recommend it in addition to said garment.  I think they are snug, so buy one size up for the recommend size on the package.  They run XS to XL.  I still have about 15 S.G.s that I need to burn because they are useless, but that's neither here nor there.

Secondly,  I made some delicious cheese and chocolate fondue for my birthday. Both are simple recipes.  The Gruyere cheese is a little high flutin', but the end result is worth it.  Oh, so good.  I ate the leftovers at breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day.  Obviously, my wistfulness for toned arms is not a serious goal yet.

Since I'm on a roll, here's the sweet little preschool backpack I bought Jay.  I know.  He's two.  He's too young for a pencil pouch and protractor.  But if you've got to carry your own underpants, you might as well look good doing it.

Bras, fondue, and backpacks.  It's a good thing.

Fitting In

Since Jay's been sick with an earache and an upset stomach due to the anti-biotics, I've stayed in with him this week. Today we were going to the MOPS consignment sale to help set-up, so I would get to be around peers. Even though I tutor during the week, I don't concern myself too much about what I wear or how my "look" is perceived. I only really care for church and my mom's group, MOPS. I mention all this to say that I was completely ridiculous getting ready to head out. I had a cute outfit for Jay thanks to Nana, but I also wanted to spurce up. I did look presentable already: jeans and a black tee. However, I tried on: a magenta top, a striped top, a black and creme blouse, a green top, both black and brown shoes, then khaki pants, then coral top, another coral top (wrinkled), then nicer jeans, back to the black and creme top and black shoes. Now, I did not deem this event "dressy", so I didn't opt for boots. Wouldn't want to seem like I was trying to hard. (Ha.)

Since being an independent adult, I have become more self assured in my looks and wardrobe. I like to look nice and presentable, but really do not obsess about fashion. So after my hiatus from seeing other women, it's comical that I tore up my closet to look nice for a bunch of moms decked out in jeans and tees. Like I was wearing this morning.

Anyway, in the same vein of fashion, I found 3 great buys at the kids' consignment sale. Two Ralph Lauren pants (with the tags on!) and a Ralph Lauren collared shirt for $19. I'm not too brand conscious, but I was pumped with my finds. Boy, a good sale brings out the killer instinct. I was able to shop early before the sale opened up the public. That would have been fun to watch.

Happy Friday!

The Anti-Mom Mom Jean!

I have to share a wonderful find:

Lee Comfort Band Pants (look under the "Custom Fit" tab)

I could write slacks, but then this would really make me sound antiquated! They come in dark wash, black, etc. They are wonderful! They have a higher rise (aka mom jeans), but cover a problem stomach. They are wide leg and long enough to wear with boots or heels. Seriously, a true find. Go to Kohls (they're on sale for $27.99) and pick some up!

I LOVE THEM.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Snoozing after my first feeding


Bright eyes


Progress on Wednesday


Hey-ey

(Yes, I agree he is underdressed.)


Jay's whirltub


Progess on Saturday

Allow me a few moments to wallow...

As I have transitioned from working life to home life, my wardrobe needs have changed. Jeans, khakis and simple tops are all I require most days. However, I am in a weird stage of finding clothes that fit. I have many, many articles of clothing, but precious few it seems that fit well or make me feel put together. I have a few very nice pieces, but they are not day-to-day wear. I can squeeze in to my old favorites, but I have work to do if I dare wear them out of the house. I'm a little too old for belly shirts and hiphuggers. Which is what most of my former wardrobe feels like. I have so many modest tops that don't seem to amply cover my mid-section anymore.

Of my hang-ups, body image is thankfully not one of them. I am okay in my skin even after the great changes it has undergone. I'm even happy with my weight, which is not too far from my starting range pre-pregnancy. It is time to accept that while I am still youthful and young, I can't expect to do whatever I please and look and feel good. My midsection will forever be altered and that is a good thing. My body did something incredible! However, I can take pride in my new body by strengthening it and dressing it properly.

Which bring me back to my original dilemma. Clothing. Most specifically, pants. While my shirts may creep up occasionally, my pant situation drives me crazy. I am between two sizes right now. I can either wear pants that do fit but accentuate my rear, or pants that sit well in the seat, but the in-seam seems to be around my knees. Does anyone else out there have this problem? I have these pants in a larger size, but the in-seam is so LONG! So I'm always pullin' up my drawers. Ughhh. Stacy and Clinton, come rescue me. (Readers: Do you ever think that if makeover gurus can take a "hot mess" and make them look amazing, what could they do with someone who passes for decent???)

Don't cry for me, dear readership. I got a haircut and my eyebrows cleaned up. It ain't that bad.

Sleep update: 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Baby had gas at 2:00 and 4:30. He whimpered briefly and went right back down. Feed at 5:30 when I saw a pattern developing. Up again at 7.

House update: We drove down tonight and saw the roof trusses going in.

In summary, life is great. Unspeakable joy abounds in the form of my son. I have a wonderful husband who really loves me, hang-ups and all. I have life everlasting and all the best life has to offer.

Except pants that fit!