However, I'm on day 15 of a clean eating plan called The Whole 30 that calls for a complete elimination of dairy, grain, legumes, any added sugars (real or artificial), alcohol and tobacco.
So in my terms, no mac n' cheese, no heavenly bread basket, no whipped, creamy goodness of any sort, no crackers (pause for solemn regret), or chips or pretzels or CHOCOLATE AT ALL. No holy shiitake mushroom pizza at Mellow Mushroom. No Sonic drinks. No post bedtime carb gorge. Nope, none, NADA.
I'm completely serious.
I decided to do this wacky thing called nutrition after being gently asked one too many times if perhaps I had reason to be congratulated-- albeit while wearing Spanx underneath my leggings and dress. It was the last moment in a line of gentle humiliations that broke the camel's (middle-aged mama's) back. And when I wore a sweater that tied at my midsection and a kindly great-grandmother asked if I knew if I was having a boy or girl.
All the bless-my-hearts.
I gamely enthused, "It'll be a surprise!" and kept on my way.
(My other go-to response for phantom baby inquiries is, "No! But I'd be glad to receive a word of prophesy!" Big smile and keep on goin'.)
So, I'm eating well.
I went home a few weeks ago after the Spanx incident (an undergarment can only do so much) and bought the first of the Whole 30 books, It Starts With Food, and made my grocery list to start working in Paleo-style dinner meals.
Two weeks later, I ripped off the band-aid, made some clarified butter and homemade mayo, and started the eating plan.
The funny thing about the plan is that it's pretty strict and tough-lovey. Fighting cancer is hard, the authors declare, and drinking your coffee black is just not. Though for the record, I'm putting unsweetened coconut or cashew milk in mine and it's a little mind-game I'm happy to play.
In terms of changes, I've noticed that just intellectually telling myself all junk food is off limits (and even some fairly good foods like quinoa and beans) was enough. In the last two weeks, I haven't cried myself to sleep over my lack of comfort foods (the book calls these SWYPO-- Sex With Your Pants On-- which is hilarious and true).
My main meals are bananas with almond or cashew butter (surprisingly delicious), eggs and sausage, homemade curried chicken salad over lettuce, roasted vegetables (asparagus, brussel sprouts, potatoes with Italian spices--excellent) and simple skillet chicken and ground beef dishes with a variety of spices and vegetables. I'll snack on dates with nut butter or a Lara bar (still high in natural sugars-- but c'mon-- you know what they say about how long it took to build Rome). Today I ate leftover vegetable beef soup with sweet potatoes and butter lettuce with tomatoes and homemade avacado dressing.
It sounds a smidge prideful, but once I stocked up on sea salt, cracked peppper, nut butters, a few natural treats and pulled out my magic bullet, I've gotten the basics down. I still make my kids spaghetti every week, and just eat in leftovers or a substitute for myself.
I ate my salad without the dressing the first time I went to a restaurant. I only smelled the fresh bread. I bought doughnuts for my Sunday School class with nary a care. I resisted pizza. I ate the ham off the Publix sub at a picnic and left the rest uneaten.
In summary, I am a bit tickled with myself.
I still very much enjoy all those vices, and may decide to extend my total elimination phase to 60 days to give me a bit more practice with true nutrition. The plan does not expect for you to never eat these foods again, but to understand how they affect your body and which ones should and should not be reintroduced to your diet,
And obviously, I'm hoping to start shedding a few pounds. I appreciate that this plan does not require calorie counting on top of all the food restrictions or I'd never have tried it. It extols healthy fats at each meal, with lots of animal protein and vegetables.
I can do that.
The only negative effects I've had were on the first night, where I woke up very sick to my stomach and afraid I had a stomach bug. I think my system was just shocked and freaking out.
The average amount of weight lost on Whole30 is said to be around 6-15 pounds for most people, and I have a feeling I'll probably only lose a few, but I'm pleased with myself for making the effort.
I didn't get around to taking a "before" picture to chart my progress, but I notice that I'm sleeping extremely well. I have terrible allergies and am struggling through the pollen, but I'd love to think that eating better might help if I keep at it.
I'll report back in a few weeks.
I'll report back in a few weeks.
If you didn't check out at "stomach bug", here's some non-diet items of interest:
Dave Barnes has new music out and it reminds me of the Eagles.
There is now a West Wing Weekly Podcast, so those power Netflix binges this winter will pay off. One of the hosts is Joshua Malina, who joined the cast in the fourth season.
Check out the Jamie Ivey Podcast episode with Sally Lloyd Jones, author of the Jesus Storybook Bible. She talks about excellence in the arts and not giving our leftover efforts to children. Really enjoyed it.
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Old Navy has some really cute spring clothes right now, especially the Pixie cut pant that tapers at the ankle and is just very flattering. They also have 5 inch inseams for Maude (that's me) and I feel appropriate and summery. And these great camisoles with wide straps that won't get shredded in my dryer. I highly endorse the Spring '16 offerings of Old Navy. The End.
I "taught" a wreath tutorial for a Moms group this week after throwing caution to the wind this Christmas and making 8 teacher wreaths for my kids' teachers, helpers, and therapists. Me teaching a craft class is just hilarious. All the ladies successfully made a wreath and fun was had by all. Here's the tutorial I used. It's very user-friendly for those who don't see themselves as crafty.
Here's my first one from Christmas:
