Dare I Name It? Is This Contentment?

Nay, even joy?

It might be the recent week-long vacation (okay, very probably) that has lead to a slower November, but in a group discussion on stress yesterday, I realized that my stressors didn't feel so overwhelming.  The grind and hustle didn't feel so burdensome, and if I had to list out what really stressed me and caused worry, it was things to come in the future.

What is the best schooling option for Jeremiah? 
If it's not local, would a long-term move be worth it? How would affect the family as a whole?
Is our family complete?  If so, am I okay with that?  If not, am I okay with the unknown? 
Do I want to /will I go back to work?  What would that look like? When would I do that?
How do I enjoy this season without looking behind or too far ahead?

Lots of questions I'd venture to guess roll around in minds of many women.  (Men everywhere, and by that I mean the two or three male relatives that read this blog: You're most welcome for the female mind's inner workings.)

Very important things with long reaching implications.  But, today, I'm content with it.  Me, with my regular Regis Philbin freak-outs.  Am okay with it.

My youngest daughter does this thing where she caresses my cheek when she's trying to be extra adorable.  It helps if this is done immediately after, to be colloquial, pooping in her underwear.  I threaten to "call the Doctor to give her yucky medicine," but I think be both know that's a game we're playing and she's winning.  Today she wore a pink tutu over her leggings and a Frozen t-shirt paired with sparkly Mary Janes and accessorized that with an Elsa side braid.  I get to hug and kiss her approximately 87 times a day and I just can't even with all the joy she brings me.

My older daughter is going through a lot of huffing and puffing about obedience and respect to Mom and Dad.  Send her to her room or turn off the television without her express written consent and she's dying a thousand deaths.  But then, she's the one who greeted me the morning we returned from our trip with such heartfelt emotion.  She was glad her parents were home.  She thanks God for all the love we have today and feels things so intensely.  Somehow, she belongs to me for a short while.

And my Jeremiah.  Oh my word.  He is such a rascal.  Will he set off the alarm at 7 a.m. because well, it's morning and time to go?  Yes.  Sneak into the all my hiding places for candy or sugary drinks or a toy?  Yes.  Do I have to keep after him about remembering to flush/put on underwear/bring along his IPad/not shut the door eleventy-billion times when someone leaves the room for a moment? YES.  But we played ball this morning.  He made so much eye contact.  He enjoys lots of hugs and kisses in the morning and after school.  He asked the girls to watch him make the Toca Boca doctor game on the IPad toot so they could all giggle.  He told his Dad, "NO! It's not time for supper," when I called everyone to eat.  He is a seven-year-old boy. Full stop.  Looking back, a lot of parenting him has been trail by fire.  We've come to a place where it is not.  (Hallelujah and amen.)

I notice that I've not said anything about the leader of this family (oh, I said it!  I'm so hopelessly backwards or refreshingly honest.  You pick.)   But basically, we can disagree about political or theological viewpoints, sure, but we can also be together, non-stop, no breaks, for a week and find this a good thing.  We can have a once-in-a-lifetime week abroad and then hit Sam's Club the next Saturday for a very enjoyable date night.   He will also turn off a football game (not a Georgia one, but still) and offer to watch one of my movies.  Basically: keeper.

What I'm saying is that joy and contentment are not the absence of struggle or pain or worry. 

It's noticing what comes from and through it. 

Today, I'm just able to notice.

We're *Sortie* 5000

I thought about blogging again from our trip, but I was too tired.  We kept a pretty fast pace and our sore legs were pretty pitiful after Paris.  After our day at the Louvre, we hit the Eiffel Tower and from there, braved the Metro system so we could explore more neighborhoods without falling flat out dead.  So many lovely memories...We tried a cafe on the Rue du Cler (thanks, Kate... the food and service were the best we had!) and it was a Saturday, market day.  I popped into a specialty food store and loaded up on candies as I never knew when I'd find good treats and gifts next.  We took the Metro to the Rue du Francs Bourgeois, where I'd read had fun shopping.  We found a perfume shop and I got gifts and we later stopped at a pastry shop for a chocolate mousse type cake and homemade marshmallows.  The city is by far the most cosmopolitan I've visited. New York City is amazing, but it can't hold a candle to the city's ancient history and sheer vastness.  We loved it.  We loved the cafes and the "Parisian fast food" that was like Panera, but way better.  We could eat a fresh mozzarella and tomato sandwich with dessert and drink for about 8 euro.  

Our last full day was spent travelling to Versailles.  The town is beautiful, with tree lined streets leading to the palace.  We had a loooong wait to enter, and by our last day, we'd hit antiquity overload.  We saw a cool exhibition commemorating the 300th anniversary of King Louis XIV's death.  It tied into the macabre theme of Halloween with a recreation of the state funeral.  We also toured the royal apartments, but again, it was old painting/old painting/sculpture of a famous guy/fancy bedroom/old painting/there's a nice chair/ooh, the hall of mirrors is nice/done.  As a sidenote, sortie is the French word for "exit" and it was everywhere on the signage.   We had big fun "sortie-ing" all over Paris.  Our last day was a Sunday, so most shops were closed in the city that morning, but by afternoon, many had opened.  We grabbed one more round of souvenirs and headed home to pack up for Amsterdam.

Our flight was supposed to be at 8 a.m., but was cancelled overnight due to fog and WE DIDN'T CHECK OUR EMAIL BEFORE LEAVING THE HOTEL.  I'm not sure why the airline didn't automatically re-book, but we had a series of hassles getting out of Paris.  We had a full day in the airport due to fog which really thrilled Alex.  He's a super patient guy when it comes to inefficiency. We finally made it out and met Alex's good friend Maurice that evening, who took us to his home where he reheated the traditional Dutch meal he had prepared and we enjoyed a nice visit. 

The next two days included a tour of the city, a canal ride, a visit to the Anne Frank house, the Rijks museum, and a bike ride to the nearby village with working windmills.  Maurice and his wife, Laura, welcomed us into their home like family.  They have three little girls who absolutely charmed us, and I will consider them my new Dutch nieces.  We met their mother and father, close friends, sister and brother and niece!  It was very special to me, especially because Maurice and his father expressed their appreciation for the welcome Maurice received as an exchange student at Alex's high school.  I've heard it said that women measure happiness based on the quality of their relationships and that men "only" need a wife and a best friend to have their relational basics met.  So to see these old friends pick up where they left off, from different countries with different political and philosophical viewpoints, but with so much mutual respect and shared experiences as husbands and fathers... well.  It made my heart very happy.

We really got to experience more than a tourist's perspective of life in the Netherlands.  We could be at the train station in 5 minutes, and the family could bike to most of their errands.  We biked to the windmills and I had to ride the 10 year old's bike (hanging head).  I reminded everyone that I had not biked with any regularity in about 15 years, so let's all be cool.  Note to self:  Let's work on personal fitness for our mind-body-spirit well-being and not worry so much about scales and labels.  

And the FOOD.  If it's possible, we ate even better in Amsterdam!  Maurice and Laura introduced us to what they just call "gourmet," a meal resembling hibachi.   They put a big electric griddle on the table, and set out plates of steak, ground beef, pork, breaded chicken, bacon, and cut up vegetables.  We dropped herbed butter on the griddle and cooked up batches of food as we talked and snacked on the bread and spreads.  If that wasn't enough, Laura kept us fed and watered while watching soccer, pulling out yummy snacks and even introducing us to Bugles (the snack) filled with soft cheese.  GENIUS.  

We flew home Thursday, fat and happy and tired, watching movie after movie, having food and drink offered at regular intervals to keep us from mutiny in the skies, I suppose.  For our 10 hour flight, we were given a full hot lunch, including dessert, a snack box with olives, cheeses and mousse and then another hot sandwich and ice cream.  It was kinda over-the-top, but with nothing to do but sit and stare, we lived up to our American birthright and ATE.

We took a lot away from the trip personally.  I realized how very isolated America can feel from the rest of the world, all wrapped up in my comfortable suburban life.  World events and political unrest seemed more pressing to the people we visited.  Alex and I both had lots of time to be silly and talk about more than the day's bullet points.  We planned and dreamed.  We really like each other.  We want to broaden our children's perspectives and show them a larger world, too.

In a nutshell?   Trip of a lifetime, definitely.  

Flat out exhausted at the Arc d' Triomphe

        One of the many canal bridges

Alex and Maurice

It's Where Rhett Bought Scarlett's Hat

Our European adventure is underway!  I flew into Paris early Thursday morning (2:30 stateside) and met up with Alex at the airport.  He was over in Switzerland the previous week for a work conference which was the impetus for our extending his time overseas and my joining him. 

Random observations about the Charles de Gaulle airport:  There is plenty of English signage and I had no trouble finding my way out. The bathroom stalls are excellent.  The door goes completely to the floor, no gaping crack for lookie-loos, and secure locks.   French toilets: two thumbs up.  Finding public toilets once out and about in Paris-- a bit more tricky.  Those are my bathroom thoughts.  I hope they are edifying to your day and life.

We took a cab into the city and remarked that a Parisian cloudy day looks suspiciously like an American one.  Construction looks like construction, and people, well, look like people.
Folks is folks and #ItsASmallWorldAfterAll.  

Our hotel.  Is Awesome.  We are staying on the Rue du Paix in the Opera district at the Park Hyatt Vendome.  It is a financial district and houses several famous jewelers.  All I knew before we got here is it's the street where Rhett bought Scarlett the bonnet that she tied on backwards as I like to make cross-cultural associations.

Because I married The Points Master, we are staying in a 5 star hotel solely on points.  When we entered the hotel, we were immediately greeted in English and ushered into a reception area.  It felt like a warm cocoon for the dum-dum American traveler who doesn't speak the language. The place is all white marble floors and orchids and soft lighting. As we arrived hours before check-in time, we were offered complimentary refreshments and I was reminded how amazing fresh pressed orange juice is.  Is is a simple pleasure I need in my life from now on.

The food? As exquisite as you've been lead to believe.  The architecture?  As grand as you'd imagine.  Gold leaf statues and scroll work everywhere.  And the amorous behavior the city boasts?  Yes.  Lots of the double cheek greeting and the slow-in-public-making-out-ing. (Not us, people.)  A street hustler who hustled me into "holding a knot" engaged me in conversation and before I realized it, I had the great fortune to buy a 10 euro "love knot" bracelet--basically one of those penny string bracelets girls made in grade school. He asked how many babies I had and if we were going to "get crazy" at the discotheques and in our room later.  Erm.  No.  I will be sleeping from jet lag.  But thank you, stranger, for inquiring! 

I guess if you eat, live and recreate in such an atmosphere, you generally feel good about life.

We later ate at our first cafe and I had  a wonderful Croque Madame and a ridiculous chocolate mousse that was almost the consistency of frosting, but much tastier.  We finally were able to check in and I tried not to fall asleep sitting upright waiting for our bags to be brought up.  After getting some sleep-of-the-dead, we played with our room's amenities.  It has a button to automatically raise the window's shutters and a luxurious bath, so are are set.  The soaps and lotions in the room are lovely as well.  To top it off, we received complementary macaroons at check-in and they will be a new favorite.

Today was our first full day and we made the most of it.  Our first stop was the Louvre.  My high school Humanities class and lifelong membership on a Sunday School roll helped me have a greater appreciation for the grand scale paintings and sculptures we saw.  Many were religious scenes--the largest paining in the entire museum is a full scale depiction of the Wedding of Cana, Jesus' first recorded miracle.  The docent I overheard said the painting's measurements were larger that his entire flat!  We did see the Mona Lisa, but honestly, I was more impressed by the large scale frescoes and paintings we saw.  We spent several hours there today, and by the time we left, it was all this is a piece of art made by some famous guy about some famous thing in history a long time ago. Moving on.

We definitely have had fun amongst ourselves donning exaggerated redneck speak--referencing a shocking lack of sophistication per Jeff Foxworthy.  We ate at another cafe; I had the special of cabornara and the tarte tarin (apple tart).  Coupled with the chocolate pastry I had this morning, all I can do is lift up holy hands in thanks and try to skip a big dinner.

We toured the bottom floor of Notre Dame, which is still a working place of worship.  We didn't want stand in line and pay extra to tour the towers, so we walked along the river, made our way back to the Louvre-- we have 4 day museum city passes and I at least knew I could use the facilities-- and limped back to our hotel around six tonight.  We hope to visit the Eiffel Tower at night, but it's about 25 minutes on foot from the hotel and we've been too exhausted to make our way back out once the sun sets.  I know we'll see it before we leave, but we might just shell out the euros to take a cab.

I'll end it here with some pictures of the day.  I wore full make-up with a scarf and boots to compensate for my dyed-in-the-wool Americana.  God did bless the U.S.A., but he surely created a beautiful language and culture here.

Redneck Fancy

In front of the Louvre entrance

Christ before Pilate

Wedding at Cana

Louvre gardens with the Eiffel Tower in the distance

Arriving at Notre Dame

Aisle view

View from the river

So, This Is Kinda A Thing

I am traveling to Europe soon.

Rest assured, I already have a specialized hashtag in my back pocket.

Ready?

#CountryGoesToEurope

I am surprisingly blase about the whole thing, basically because I have no frame of reference for international travel.  We are visiting Paris (can't even) and Amsterdam for a week.  A whole week.  By ourselves.  While are children are lovingly spoiled by their grands.  I'm not entirely sure if J will permit them to leave once our trip ends.

We are planning to hit the majors: Versailles, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre.
The Loooo-VRE.  That's all I can say frenchy.

All the bread.  All the cheese.  All the pastries.  All of the things.  For the second part of the week, we are staying with Alex's old friend who lives in Amsterdam. No worries: he's a married dad of three and we are hoping to see the Anne Frank and the Van Gogh museums, and not any other more salacious offerings for which the city is known.

I'm sure we'll blend right in.  I mean, we know not to wear white sneakers.  I know what VAT is.  And to top that off, Alex left up a screen on the computer for Disneyland Paris.  I'm not sure if that's more Euro or Amer-o "trash" but I don't care.

Europe, baby!

We still have to figure out international SIM cards and whatnot, but I will surely share pictures here when we get back.

To my more well-traveled readers, any basic tips or tricks to pass along?  Shops, cafes, dishes to try?

I've got a Global Entry TSA-prescreening approval and an assortment of scarfs and boots to assist in my efforts to pass as a globe-trotting bon vivant.

Out of respect, I'm refraining from buying this shirt to wear in front of the Eiffel Tower.  It's tempting.

But I may break down and buy a selfie stick.

#Merica

It's That Time Again...

A few Saturdays ago, J and I were tromping through the walking trail at our local park. J was having a blast throwing rocks and pine cones in the lake.  My mind was wandering to everything and nothing until it landed on Fall.  And how pretty our park is.  And how pretty Fall is.  And how cute the kids' new Fall clothes that they'd been gifted are.  And how those new clothes matched my wine-colored dress.  And lo, when we returned to the car to go home, I had a message from a friend who had sent me a picture of her toddler daughter's dress, inquiring what her husband should wear-- wait for it-- in their family picture this year.  You know I zipped right on back with my thoughts (Daddies wear neutrals, duh, as Mama and baby girl quite rightly are the jewels of the family) and before you can say infinity scarf with leggings and boots, the lot was cast.

Fall Family Pictures.

I've brought myself (and husband) to a place of acceptance that this is just something we do.  I do own a camera and tripod and could get a snapshot of us.  We do have a lot of pictures of ourselves.  But as the Mother of the Bride, Nina, told her husband George in the movie Father of the Bride, we don't drive expensive cars. I don't wear expensive jewelry, so we can afford a nice wedding-- or family picture-- as the case may be.

So you know I've picked up a few things to accessorize with.  I mean we didn't have to buy new clothes!  The kids always need new shoes!  And scarves keep you warm.  That's just good sense.  And the boots were clearance, so I got two pairs for the price of one. And you know that if you do for one child, you have to do for the other.  Simple Mom Math.

Isn't being a woman just the best?

Yes.  I believe it is.

In other news, I'm one of the chaperones for our youth group's fall retreat.  I'm looking forward to getting to know my group of girls better, and who doesn't love a fire pit?  You know there's going to be some heartfelt sharing and crying.

I'm not trying to be cynical.  I've cried and overshared around many a youth group circle time, and heck, I overshare on this blog on a semi-regular basis when I take the time to write it down.

It'll be big fun with ziplines and all manner of jumping off inflatable things that I plan to safely observe at a distance.  They've got a band and a speaker and air-conditioning and these kids have no idea how nice they've got it.  Better bring my BenGay.  Ol' Myrtle here has gotta be spry to keep up with the young folk.

Happy almost Fall break, y'all. :)