The End of The Beginning

Today is April 30th, the last day of Autism Awareness Month.  It's the end of my beginning.

It's allowed my to talk openly about my life-- all of it.  Because when I can't talk about one thing in my life, I can't talk about anything.  My boy is very much my life.

Fittingly, we had our placement meeting today and it went very well.  I went in with the attitude that the teachers and administrators were there to help me, not to keep the best from me or my child.  That was the best advice I got early on.  Be informed, be an advocate, but be part of the team.  I have more to share about the meeting, but I've got to let in all sink in first.  We will be at the school I'd anticipated, but I got a good feel for the teacher and the classroom.  I've excited, energized, and hopeful for the future.  I felt heard and understood in the meeting, and yup, I cried a bit, but that's just me.  As I told the team, the onus of Jeremiah's potential is on me (well, on God through me, but you know, we only had an hour).  I never thought I'd be sitting in a special education meeting for my child. Ever.  But here I am, and that's okay.  Whatever it takes.  Wherever the path leads me.

I know.  Jeremiah's future is going to be amazing.

I've been thinking about awareness and acceptance and what that means.  And how it allows us to love our neighbor.  Some in the autism community feel like a blue bracelet or light isn't going to help their child.  And on face value, it won't.  But prayers will.  And understanding will.  And friendship will. And monies raised in scholarships will.  And research will.  And humility and gratefulness will.

Sure, I'm aware of autism.  As one blogger said, if I were any more aware of it, I'd be dead.

This month and this series of blogs has been about me accepting it.  And in turn, I have accepted so much more.

I've accepted love. New direction. New dreams. Hope. Laughter.

I know what autism means to me, and the outlook is not what my doctor said, or the textbooks outline, or what the educational prognosis might say.  It's a hands-on, first hand account of God's power molding my son day by day.

Thank you for loving me as yourself.  Thanks for being my neighbor.

James 2:7-8 (NIV)  If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right.

Working in the Waiting

I chose an easy, practical verse to learn this month: Wait on the Lord; be strong, and take heart, and wait on the Lord. (Psalm 27:14) So, what should today's sermon topic address? Waiting on God! To wait means to hope in Hebrew. The word picture is of a rope being twisted, becoming stronger. I've definitely felt twisted and pulled a lot over these recent years! And God's Word has come through. When I was deep in anxiety (another post for another time), it took me step by step back to peace. I emerged much stronger, and knew without a doubt that God works on my behalf. Another point the pastor made was that in our waiting, we should be poised, ready to spring into action when we sense God moving us to a new course. So, here I am, waiting, working, and expecting God to work. He is working in my waiting. That's the blessing of trials. To be included in His work. Y'all, I plain love Jesus and I don't care if that makes me a corny cliche to those who are to cool to need. I need. I need Jesus.

Standing in the Need

Some really cool stuff is happening in my life!  I feel like some tangible blessings have fallen in my lap, not because I asked for them, but because the Lord just delighting in me.  I hope that doesn't sound 'braggy', but I'm feeling very loved by God!  He's opening my eyes more to how he is working, probably because I just need Him.  I need divine power, insight, direction, strength, everything.

With all this in mind, I'm gonna go ahead and ask for a few things of Him, and a couple I'd like to share with you.  I've had the privilege of asking others to pray with me about Jeremiah and our family, and in turn, felt the need to pray for those encouragers in kind.

So, would you pray for me?

April 30th is J's placement meeting for schooling next year.  It should be a relatively low-key meeting.  His teacher already told me the school she is recommending and the best fit in terms of a teacher.  Our local school does not have Special Ed. Kindergarten, so J will be going to another school.  Though it's a bit of a bummer to not be at the local school, the options are excellent and our county has high marks for their elementary schools.  Would you pray that:

• We select the best school for Jeremiah.
•  His teacher will have a true understanding of autism, and a passion for teaching.
• For our summer, that I will use the time to "bank" many enriching engagements with Jeremiah.
• Perhaps, down the road, as we gain confidence with our RDI program and the progress we are seeing, that I could even step in and take over J's schooling for a time to accelerate him. This is a new dream that scares and excites me, but I know NO ONE will be as committed as me to see my son grow. I would never have thought it possible or even wanted to do this but for J's needs.  I still have lots to think about, and surely don't want to do something to satisfy my own need for praise or approval.  And I don't want to not do it because I'm worried what others might think. I want to do what the Lord wants, what's best for J, what's best for the family and I pray all those things line up!
• I will make and cherish special times with Sarah and Rachel separately and together.
• I will just lap up every sweet moment with Rachel and not worry a bit about her development. She's in that "life rocks!" phase of excitement and I'm like "she's waving her arms in the bouncer... is that a stim or just happiness?"  I don't want to miss anything or filter a moment through worry.

Could I pray for you?  I will, too.  Email me or if we're buds, text me.  Let's go all in.  I've been studing the book of James on and off for a while now, and it's just hitting everything in my life-- words, trials, what loving others means, prayer, healing.  It's hits 'em all.  So let's pray, "for the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" (James 5:16 NKJV).  Or even better: "The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with" (The Message)

To be reckoned by God--astounding!

Our Autism Story In One Place

On April 1st, I sent my experience with autism out into the scary world of social media and to my surprise, was met with grace and understanding.  My hope is that another parent like me will find these posts and be encouraged.

Autism Posts:

I'm Ready (Signs of Autism and Diagnosis)

Meet Jeremiah (My Boy, Just As He Is)

The Climb (Our Therapy Approach)

Now (The Bittersweet Milestone of Turning 5)

Resources and Advice (What I'd Want To Tell You As a New Autism Parent or Loved One)

Have to Share: Ages & Stages Questionnaire

I was looking at the Easter Seals page for information and ran across this excellent resource for any parent curious about their child's development.  If you have true concerns about your child's development, this is free and confidential and something that you could bring to a doctor or professional to help in the screening process.

https://asqonline.com/family/1ac805/questionnaire

Also, this blog post on the Easter Seals site "Five Reasons Not to Freak Out" is a good read for newly diagnosed parents.

Have Friday, y'all!