I began a new bible study with the ladies of my church entitled "John, The Beloved Disciple" by our friend, Beth (Moore). In the introduction video, she encouraged us to write a letter to God honestly laying out all the things we really desire. The study centers on the heart, as John identified himself as "the one Jesus loved".
I haven't written mine yet (though I will). However, when I examine what I think about when my mind wanders, it often goes to what I desire. And most of what I desire is pitifully small in terms of eternity. I know God will, and has, meet my every need. I just need Him to reveal what my needs really are.
I like stuff. (That's shocking.) Like I-phones. And mini-vans with automatic doors. And Southern Living decor, and Pottery Barn Kids catalogs, and fully funded emergency accounts and all things shiny and new. (Hey buddy, I like new stuff). We all do. If I pretend I don't like and want that stuff sometimes, I'm just a hypocrite. Anyway. This stuff preoccupies my thoughts at times, even though I know any thing, or even any relationship or quality or goal apart from God's perfect timing is a striving against the wind, to quote my bud Solomon.
So, I think I "want" contentment. I want to actively seek and find Jesus and let him deal with all my wants. 'Cause my wants--from the trivial to the sacred-- will only be blessings in His time. HIS time, Melissa. His time.
And, y'all, my sweet father-in-law upgraded our family phone plan and I'm getting a fancy phone that I don't need, but want. Keep me in check and make sure I still watch the children and don't suffer from cool phone addiction. And smile, too. 'Cause it's okay to enjoy a cool phone. Because I delight in the Giver of all good things, not because he is the Giver, but because he is GOD.
And........... I think I think too much, but that's how he made me!
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